I still am trying to recover from the near constant fighting my kids did for their whole entire childhoods. These two were pros. They fought all day, every day, and I’m fairly sure they fought while they slept. There was no rest for the weary. What did they fight about? Go ahead, shout out a topic and you you will be right. Because what they fought about was EVERYTHING. Snacks, check. Sesame Street, yup. Bed time story, uh huh. Toys, yes sir. The park, indeed. A bagel, a car ride, a stuffed animal, what part of the couch they wanted to sit on, the legos, the bathroom, YES. YES, YES AND YES. There was no moment, no event, no time that forced these two to agree. Was it my breast milk? Was it my choice of crib? Was it the adorable clothes I dressed them in that made them so miserable with one another? It was a mystery, but all I knew was that these two kids, who I had to overcome three years of infertility to have, seemed as though they were opposed to speaking one civil word to each other. I had birthed two children who might be the first kids ever to actually put themselves up for adoption. This was deeply upsetting to me, since I grew up with two sisters, who were eight and fourteen years older than I was, and with whom I never fought. And yes, I was the midlife surprise! I guess it was because the age difference was so dramatic that we got along. No sibling rivalry, no problems with sharing toys, or clothes, or attention. So, having these two little monsters was confusing to me, and made me think that they would never get along. NEVER. And that was most upsetting to me.
As I watched other siblings play together and their parents describe them as “best friends,” I felt a deep sadness. Our life was a screechy near constant battle, with two little kids as soldiers, vying for position. Not one to neurologically handle discord well, I would feel unsteady and crazy. Time outs were common. Tears were even more common. There was always someone crying (and sometimes it was me). Friends would always say, “Oh they’ll get along when they’re older, you just watch.” I would look at them shaking my head, and say, “Yeah, I’m not so sure that’s ever going to happen. You don’t know MY kids.” And it was true. With each passing year, things just did not improve, giving me less and less hope that the future would ever be better than the past.
Anyway, just when I thought that my kids were destined to be enemies forever, it happened. It was last summer. Cue the hallelujah chorus. They just suddenly got along. They just suddenly started to call one another best friends. They just suddenly were the brother and sister I had always dreamed of. I have no idea what happened. It really was like magic if you ask me, because it was so sudden, so out of the blue. But was I grateful? AM I GRATEFUL for this transformation? Oh yeah, I am so happy to have two children who get along. Who are one another’s biggest cheering squads, and who I now know will have a long and loving relationship. Jake and Ally. Brother and sister. And best friends. Finally. It took long enough. But hey, I’ll take it.
*the gratitude-a-thon 
First – great photo (damn adorable kids…). Second — yeah for kids who get along! My kids did (on balance) – and recently on a Skype call w/Sasha (from Edinburgh), Stefan told him that he ‘will always have his back’ and they made a pact not to have the relationship that their father and uncle have (which is none.) I sat there silently – listening and crying – as only a parent would. how blessed we are —
man, that’s so great. i agree. it’s so lucky to have siblings. there is nobody who gets you, and understands where you’re from like those people. it took us a long time to get there, but i think we actually have arrived. better late than never!
Love this picture!!!!!!so cute …….where did the time go?
Sent from my iPad
where didi it go? WHERE DID IT GO? i think they’re still walking around somewhere or other looking like this. time is something i just don’t understand! look at your kids. who are not even kids anymore. they’re adults with their own kids–WHAT???????