I”m a little worried that when we can actually socialize again, we won’t know how to. I mean, will we all just sit around at a restaurant texting to one another on our phones, trying to adjust the lighting like we would on Zoom so we don’t look like zombies? Will we remember how to hug? Will we recall in-person social cues? Will our mouths, so used to being covered by the annoying protection of masks, do weird things?

I miss people. GOD, I miss people. I miss a warm embrace that had become a normal greeting for pretty much anyone you knew. I promise to hug even more when this is over. I will hug the mail carrier everyday, I swear. I miss going out to dinner with friends, the excitement of cutting loose on a Saturday night. I miss going to a special museum exhibit and discussing it afterward at a civilized ladies-who-lunch midday meal. I miss a carefree chat on the street with an acquaintance I miss going to the theater. After this is over, I’m going to plant myself on Broadway and see every damn play there is. I miss music, live music, a big concert, letting my body move with the music. I miss the energy of New York, the amped up buzz I get from people watching and wandering. I miss traveling, packing up and going someplace new, or old, the excitement of learning about a location I’ve never been, the newness, the history, the food and wine, the people. Yeah, I miss people.

This year has been hard, but as Glennon Doyle says, “We can do hard things.” And of course, she is right. But as I wait impatiently for all of us to get our vaccines, I wonder if it will give us the shot in the arm we need to get back to the way we used to be. I wonder if once the virus is under control, we’ll have the space to grieve all we’ve lost, or whether we’ll simply be so happy to be in one another’s company again, that we’ll just cry with unbridled and raucus joy, plan a big bonfire and throw our masks in for kindling. I hope we’ll understand the importance of our family and friends in a new and better way. I hope we’ll put our work in its proper place, that we’ll give more to those in need, that we’ll be more compassionate, more loving, more tolerant. I hope that there will be good lessons that endure from this exile. Those are what i will be grateful for. Those are what I will hang onto from this time. The rest of it, the rest of it, I cannot wait to forget.

The Covid fatigue feels like a virus all by itself. And while I hate to whine because I’m relatively very lucky, I’m whining for everybody who feels the bone weary, brain-numbing exhaustion quarantine life brings. I’m whining because it’s hard not to see family and friends. I’m moaning because isolation is, well, ISOLATING. But I will stop the misery making for a moment to tell you how i’ve gotten this far. And then, maybe you’ll share with me. On account of, I’M RUNNING LOW ON IDEAS.

Exercising my options. I have been trying to get some exercise in everyday. Ok, some days, it’s just doing a bigger loop around the hood with Riley, but any kind of exercise is good exercise. Anything you can do to get a little runner’s high going is a lottery winner in my book. My mood lags when my body does, so yoga, pilates, walking (when it’s not 9 degrees) is my jam. Sometimes I do the stationery bike, because we have one, but I hate it. Thing is, I do feel better when I get off the damn thing. Some days, I run up and down the stairs. Others I just stretch while I’m making my coffee.

Dreaming up new projects. I have recently begun thinking about doing some new writing projects and it’s kind of exciting. I do get overwhelmed by the scope of some of the things I’m thinking about, but then I just make myself take a little step toward what it is I’m considering and give myself a pat on the back for taking some action.

Watching everything that has ever been made that is currently streaming. Is this possible, you ask? I think so, because I think we might be doing it over here. We are movie LOVERS, always have been and this has given us more time than ever to stream the good stuff. Late, so late to the party, but just finished Schitt’s Creek and am now in mourning, waiting for the next great binge. I’m telling you, we’ve seen everything and all I can think of is how did they do this in 1918 when there was no tv, let alone fucking Netflix.What are you watching? Please advise.

Read a book, for God’s Sakes. I’ve been reading more than normal. I do need books that really capture my attention, which is kind of dodgy these days. I loved Writers & Lovers by Lily King. Just about to start another by same author called Euphoria. On deck, Milk Fed by Melissa Broder. Got anything to share with me?

What’s cooking. I’m still cooking, but have lost all my enthusiasm. I’m not trying new recipes, or trying to get creative. I’m tired of cheffing it up nightly, and long to eat out in a restaurant where someone else is preparing the meal and bringing it to me, accompanied by an awesome cocktail. Member when we used to meet for dinner? Yeah, those were the days. what are you cooking. RECIPES, PLEASE.

I buy weird stuff from Instagram. Boy oh boy, this pandemic must be a lollapalooza for online businesses. I have bought stuff I normally wouldn’t, because in scrolling through Instagram, there it is, and well, WHY THE FUCK NOT. Purchases have included skincare and makeup, a curling iron whose video posts had me riveted, volumizing spray that Sarah Jessica Parker uses (SARAH. JESSICA. PARKER. USES. IT. C’mon, I had to), under eye de-swelling patches, the list goes on. Yeah, I gotta stop this and go back to online shopping where I just leave the stuff in the basket and go to another site.

Baby my dog. He’s getting old and I know our days with him are numbered. He’s the light in all of our days and so I’m extra solicitous of this little boy. He’s also always going out of his way to make me laugh.

Keeping my chin up. Yeah, this is a thing that requires energy these days. I try everyday to focus on something good, be grateful for how lucky we’ve been during this pandemic. I try to do something to make someone else’s life a little better.

Ok, so how are you doing it? HOW ARE YOU STAYING SANE RIGHT NOW, ALMOST A YEAR INTO THIS? I’d be grateful if you’d please share.