January 2024 – *the gratitude-a-thon

Sometimes we here at the gratitude-a-thon (MEANING ME HERE AT THE GRATITUDE-A-THON) have to do our real jobs and cannot play Joan Rivers post-award show. BUT, here I am on my lunch break, and I’m giving you the styleless and those who slayed. A bite of my sandwich, and off we go.

If you’re paying someone to dress you like this, you’re wasting your money: THE WORST.

ALEX,well it wasn’t BORring STEIN, but man was it UGLY.

She’s a comedian, so is this supposed to be funny? It’s not. At all. We’ve got the dominatrix straps, and that skirt looks like the curtains at a broadway show and what are those flowers and FEATHERS doing up there on the sleeve anyway? And oh Jeez, they’re also in her hair. Black and red always remind me of the wait staff’s uniforms at an Italian restaurant, but let’s face it, the color is the least of the offenses here.

You get a DEMerit, Weaver.

I have never, I repeat NEVER met a pocket I didn’t like, but this pocket and everything else about this dress, I DON’T LIKE. Guessing she was going for a casual vibe, and not SCHLUMPY MCFRUMPY.

ALI WrONG

I’ve got a beef with this. If, and I say if, it were just the encrusted bustier with the flowered bottom, maybe, and I say maybe I’d let it go, but to expose us to that illusion neckline thing, which has no relation to anything–does she think we’re blind out here in the audience? The whole top could have worked with a nice black bottom, pants or skirt, not that you’re asking, Ali (but gosh, you should have).

Aubrey Plaza on Pins & Needles.

Does that straight pin, the size of a small child, maybe belong to Big Foot’s mother, who was using it to hem his Big Foot pants?

Laverne Cox and Hefty, Hefty, Hefty

Is this dress made of a trash bag, or what? Usually, Laverne knows how to dress, but this look was, c’mon, say it with me, garbage.

And those who can take a bow for their good taste and style prowess: THE BEST

Ayo Edibiri gets a Michelin Star

This is one of the best dresses and most impeccably styled looks I’ve ever seen on a red carpet. It’s modern, but it’s classic. The fit is a hit. The hair is simple and so are the jewels and sandals. This is just like her performance on The Bear–perfect.

Yes, Chef.

Granted this look is in second place to his Calvin underwear ads, but damn, this is everything I love about a guy in a tux. A white dinner coat gets me every time.

IS (sa) WINNER.

While simple and classic is usually my jam, I LOVE ME some some feathers, some crystals, some FUN. And this is that, and that, and that.

DeBose by a Nose.

First of all, these are the best teeth in the biz. Just a charming, fetching, off the charts smile. But that’s not all I love about her look. This is so simple and damn glam, she should be giving a class on walking the carpet. And that easy hair–and that necklace.

Ok, let’s hear from you. What were your best and worst picks? Don’t worry, I can wait til after you eat your lunch.

Did you think because I have been neglecting my duties here at the gratittudeathon that I would not don my most fashionable PJs and bring it the morning after The Globes? What am I–Jo Koy (who sadly did not bring it), Shame on you for doubting me. I never miss an opportunity to damn the fashion faux pas peeps and cheer on the style stars. So, let’s get into it.

YOU, YEAH YOU, YOU’RE THE WORST.

The stylist of Rosemund Pike Clearly Took a Hike.

Apparently, Miss Apple Head said she’d opted for a veil because her face had been injured skiing. I think her style gene took the worst of that fall.

“…..And Billie Eilish as Bozo the Clown.”

This is a head-to-toe disaster worthy of a Go Fund Me. The only way to make the do worst was to add red. Yup, I’m well aware of the oversized trend, but this is bringing David Byrne’s 1984 suit back to life. And khaki on the carpet? What Was I Made For is one of the prettiest songs I’ve ever heard, the exact opposite of gorgeous Billie’s get-up.

What’s the point Natasha Lyonne?

This is what I call functional fashion. Natasha is a walking coat rack.

Selena NOmez.

Murderers in the building of this hem were found guilty of poor construction.

Bella Ramsey, graduate of the Starfleet Academy.

From the Star Trek Collection, we have one suit and only one suit. Get yours now. Operators are standing by.

J NO.

I expected more than this unoriginal, already done gown. It was just no bed of roses for me.

Laufey vs. girly curtains.

Prom dress vibes and a noose to hang herself if the look didn’t fly.

Janelle James and the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons

Your sleeve….it’s……um…..it’s in the soup.

To be Blunt, This is Ugly

The girls needed some support, the design emphasises her tummy, the tulle belonged to another dress. Can you say nuclear disaster.

YOU LOOK GORGEOUS, YOU’RE A 10, YOU DONE GOOD.

Keri Russell’s Diplomatic Perfection.

Ok, the top could have been a little tighter, but I’m just crazy about this dress. Simple lines, and all that fringe in a clean white bright. My favorite of the night.

Da ‘Vine is Devine.

Yup, I was as nervous as the rest of usthat we were going to have a Janet Jackson Nipplegate, but this was a great look. A perfect cut, beautiful hair and styling.

Jen’s a Ten.

The simplicity of her style is unbeatable. It’s always well cut and perfectly simple.

Swift and Stylish

Let’s face it, Taylor can do no wrong. This superstar is a shining example of Keep it Simple, Stupid, style.

A Pocketful of Gorgeousness

Simple is superior. Love the raw hem, THE POCKETS. This is effortlessly perfect.

Timothy, the Shining Star

The vibe was sooooooooooooo cool, I couldn’t resist, despite being a non-Chalamet fan of the non-traditional. In the tux department. this one got me.

Margot Robbie. What a Doll.

In the pink and hitting it out of the park all year long, she strikes again, with perfect Barbie girl glamour.

O (WOW) Prah.

Oprah has had herself a body transformation. This is as good as her bod has looked since she toted out that red wagon of fat on the show decades ago. I wish she hadn’t worn her glasses, but otherwise, she looks amazing.

Lessons in Style Chemistry

Brie Larson is just a lesson in perfection. This dress falls beautifully and the styling is flawless.

Sheer Delight.

In love with this beautiful dress. And boy does Riley Keough look like Granddaddy Elvis with this hair.

Lily Glad (She Wore This) Stone.

Usually not fan grilling a big drag-along cape, but I love this column dress as the star amidst all that curly black fabric.

So, whadja think? C’mon, out with it. Share your thoughts, let’s have some fun.

Month: January 2024

gratitude-a-thon day 3006: the emmy’s lunchtime review

And it’s the globes–the good, the bad and the ridiculous