gratitude-a-thon day 826: lady edith vs. lady mary

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What Lady Edith should say to Lady Mary if she does not get her happy ending tomorrow night:

“Look bitch, yes we are unfortunately sisters, but who cares? Just means we share parents, and right now I’m kind of done with them, since they failed to teach you anything about manners, or good form. You’re nothing but a bully, a selfish, Kanye-esque narcissist. Sure you got the guy, but you know what? I give you about a year before Henry figures you out, and you have to go through a Kim Basinger/Alec Baldwin divorce. And if the magistrate is smart, they’ll give Master George to Barrows to raise. We are done, Lady Mary, although I hesitate to call you that, since you are not at all a lady. I am moving to America and leaving all this British crap behind. (That is, if Donald Trump is not the candidate.) Even Mr. Carson thinks I’m right. Remember, karma’s a bitch, just like you. Sayonnara, sister.”