I can seriously not tell you how happy I get before, after, and during a manicure. The thought of having one makes me feel like I am a lady who lunches, and who takes care of herself, and this is just one of the naturally mandatory things on the list. "Jeeves, you'll have to postpone my weekly manicure, I must jet off to Paris, unexpectedly." Not that any Tom, Dick or Mary can't get a manicure these days (and don't laugh, I see lots of Tom's and Dick's getting both their feet AND toes done). If you have $10 and hands, you can walk into any one of hundreds of foreign owned nail salons that exist throughout Boston (and everywhere), which can now be found on every block like a Starbucks. I like the during, because someone is beautifying me and I LOVE any kind of beautification I can get. I am boring, though and probably disappointing manicurists everywhere. I never get the super hot red, or near black, that I might throw on my toes. I wouldn't think of going blue, or yellow, or green, and I abhor anything with a pearl finish. I would never consider having a flower, or stripes, or the American freaking flag painted on my nails anymore than I would go to Seven Eleven for a coffee (this is not because I am not patriotic, it's just that I like my nail straight up). I am a manicure purist. I always get the same color. It's called Waltz from Essie, a kind of whitish/pinkish that makes your nails look super clean, and sets off a tan in the most perfect way, and makes me look slightly beachy brown in the middle of winter when I am paler than a blizzard. It makes sense that I love when my nails look pretty, right? I mean you see your hands like 50 million times a day because they're within your field of vision, unlike your face, which you need a mirror to see, or you ass, which you need a mirror in front of you AND in back of you to see. And because, you're doing stuff with your hands all day and night, and they kind of need your eyes to do the right thing, it’s sort of one of the best things you can take care of, especially if your a visual kind of person.
The only thing I don’t like, is the whole Elaine-from-Seinfeld thing. Maybe you remember the episode? It’s where Elaine thinks all the Korean-speaking manicurists are talking about her behind her back, so she brings George’s dad with her, who speaks Korean, and finds out they are INDEED talking about her. I know they talk about me. They say things I can’t understand and they all laugh. I imagine things they might be saying. “She has an IQ of 4.” Does she think that shirt looks good on her?” “Her feet smell.” But, like whatever. The one thing I know, is they’re not making fun of my nails.