sad-a-tude-athon: the watch

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Ok, so there hasn’t been a post for two days, and you might think I have been gathering up good things to write about, galavanting around the Vineyard, collecting enchanting stories, running through fields of flowers, and frolicking in ocean waves, but not so much, because I LOST MY WATCH. And I have been looking for it, while alternately crying and scanning my addled brain for any information that might lead me to my timepiece.

Now, let’s be clear, I understand that I did not lose a person, or a limb, or the DOMA vote. I lost a material object that can be replaced. But let’s also lay the cards down, I have had the watch for 10 years, and it was on my wrist nearly all of that time, except for when I bathed, or swam. ALL. OF. THAT. TIME. It was like part of me. Add that I really loved it. The way it dangled on my wrist, the heaviness of it on my arm. Yes, the watch had become an appendage all its own, and not having it on my wrist is strange and unsettling.

Let’s start with the search. I realized I had lost it, after a long day at the beach. My memory (such as it is) told me that I’d put it in my straw hat in my straw bag at the beach. When I returned home to get ready for dinner, it was not where I’d thought. I went to the car, hoping the bag had tipped over and the watch had perhaps found a happy home in my beachy trunk, but after examining each beach chair and sifting through the piles of sand, it was not to be. I ravaged my bathroom, my bedroom, each magazines that had been on the beach with us, but no such luck. On our way to dinner, we went back to Lucy Vincent Beach, closed now, with a gate, and Peter, my friend Colleen and I (while the kids watched the car) tromped down the windy parking lot and onto the gorgeous, empty beach. We moved our feet around, covering the entire area where we sat. We scanned each granule of sand, barely noticing the stunning beauty of one of the best beaches I know. Finally giving up after 10 minutes, we left for a stiff drink at The Tavern.

The next morning, Colleen and I headed for Lucy at 9. We told the guards at the gate about the watch, hopeful they might have found it, but no luck. They took my number. We began our weird foot dragging ritual and enlisted a whole family who wanted to know what we were doing, in the search. They were the kindest people and really helped us look. But, of course, we didn’t find anything, except, by the way, a bracelet that had slipped off my wrist from our breaking and entering night before! How odd is that? I went to the Chilmark police to see if anyone might have turned in the watch, but while nice, they just took my number.

I searched the car several more times, my bathroom, bedroom, going over and over in my mind where it might be hiding. I went back to Lucy yesterday and searched again. People probably think it’s some sort of new exercise program–“The-drag-your-feet-in-the-sand thigh-improver. Get your step-by-step video now for just $19.99.” I talked to the beach guard yesterday to let her know. She is really nice and has been there forever and used to have a million rubber ducks on the top of her Jeep, which always gave us a good laugh, especially when the kids were little. She felt awful. Told me I should rent a metal detector. That maybe it was stolen, since it was sort of surprising that I didn’t find it. I guess it could have been stolen. Maybe even by one of the aggressive seagulls who monitors Lucy for food. Not sure what they’d do with a watch, but who am I to judge. Anyway, she’s on the lookout now, too.

I thought about the night before and if perhaps I’d really lost the watch then–about a bracelet I had slipped onto my wrist in a store in Oak Bluffs. Could it have unlocked the clasp and fallen off? Could I have confused the day before’s watch-in-my-hat scene and really lost it in that store, or on the street’s of Oak Bluffs? I called the OB police, but nothing had been turned in. I went back to the store (who’s name I could not remember, or I’d have called) last night, but they said nothing had been found (although, I did think one of the girl’s acted really strangely, but at this point, I think I can’t be trusted).

Meanwhile, yesterday I called my insurance company, and found out that it was not covered. I had actually thought that it was, which was the only reason I had not totally lost it. I cried. Really hard. Because I knew that was the end of the line. The watch was really over.

Did I mention that it’s a Cartier Tank watch and that it will cost $5,000 to replace? Yeah…..

So, I’m doing my  thing with St. Anthony. And my friend Rania told me I also needed to  pray to Saint Longuinho,which is a new one for me. She said, you say,  “Saint Longuinho help me find my watch, you jump 3 times and scream 3 times. You have to offer something in exchange ( give up coca cola for a month) .” I am going to do that today. And what I’m giving up is wearing my watch to the beach.

Anyway, I am grateful I had the gosh darn watch for so long. I loved that thing. And I am grateful that Peter and Colleen and that really wonderful family helped me look on the beach for it. And I am grateful that I didn’t lose something more important, like a person, or my dog, or my health.

But, God, I’m sad. I have that lurchy feeling in my stomach. And I’m really mad at myself. I have been wearing the watch to the beach for 10 years, but I guess I shouldn’t have been. Dumb girl. Anyway, that’s my story. I’m going to just try and get over it today. Just get over it. It’s just a watch, which is now buried in the beautiful waters of Lucy Vincent Beach. I guess that’s a pretty good last resting place.

I keep wondering if there’s a message in losing my watch on this summer before Jake leaves for college. A certain time on this island has stopped for us. A new time will begin? Could that be the reason? Probably, it’s just because I was careless. And it’s a lesson in being more careful. But who’s to say? Ok, going to do my Saint Loguinho cheer prayer…….

4 thoughts on “sad-a-tude-athon: the watch

  1. Well, I’m sorry for you and your watch. I really am. And I feel your pain. But this makes me feel a whole lot better about the TWO pairs of Maui Jim’s I lost last summer, both of which I had for over 10 years. Maybe it’s the 10-year-time’s-up thing. I grieved them all summer, all fall, all winter…making myself buy cheap sunglasses (at least 6 pairs) as punishment…until I finally stopped the madness by buying a new pair on eBay. I’ve always said St. Anthony has never failed me, so maybe they’ll turn up in a year or two.

    I like where you ended up with this, Love. “A certain time on this island has stopped for us.” And yes, a new time is beginning. Always. Don’t beat yourself up. Maybe it’s practice in learning to let go. xoxoxo

    • i have lost sunglasses before and found them in the trash both times. they were prescription glasses, too, so they were expensive to replace. in both cases, i grabbed garbage out of my car, and took off my sunglasses at the same time, and threw everything out together. but, after days of looking, recovery!

      the watch, unfortunately, i believe to be gone. no garbage that day. i gotta say goodbye. and i gotta let go. yup, just let go. gosh, those words are hard to swallow. xoxo

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