gratitude-a-thon day 783: the golden globes red carpet: the good, the bad, & the unbelievably UGLY

I am red carpet ready to go. Let’s do this thing.

The Worst. And I mean, BAD.

Katy Perry. NOT a firework.

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Is that a Bump-It in her hair? And her globes, despite warm temperatures, those girls are packed and heading South. There is this thing, called a bra, which was tragically missing here. The point is that this dress is ill-fitting. The diamond bracelet, now that’s a firework. The rest of it is a hot mess.

Cate Blanchett. When you can act, but you can’t dress.

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I actually think that Cate was kidnapped and dressed, blindfolded, and thrown out of the car and onto the red carpet. That’s the ONLY explaination I can think of.

Amy Schumer. Trainwreck.

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I didn’t want to do this. I wanted Amy to be all cute and make the best dressed list, but noooooooo, she had to put on this voluminous monstrosity, with her hair all puffed up in the fron like the bride of Frankenstein. What’s good? The pockets. Pockets are always good. The rest: not funny.

Rachel Bloom. When your acceptance speech is awesome, but your dress not so much.

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This actress was so genuinely excited about winning, you got excited to, until you were forced to face the facts that she was trying to get some use out of that ugly bridesmaid’s dress she had to wear in her cousin’s wedding last summer.

Eva Longoria. Bow out.

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I’m always amazed when someone so gorgeous, and fit wears something so ugly. This dress is a three ring circus. In one ring, we have bows–at the neck and the waist. Already that’s one too many. In another ring, we have flowers, dancing and making merry at her hips. And in the third ring, we just have ugly.

America Ferrara. She looks like she go this dress at the store she is working in on her new show.

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I love this color on her. But fit is everything. EVERY. THING. The boobage is not fitted. I repeat, boobs loose in asle five.

The Best. And I mean, really good this year.

Rooney Mara. I have NEVER met a ruffle I didn’t like.

This is what I would wear to an award show. This is it right here. I love this so much, I want to marry it and run away to an island and have its children.

Sophia Bush Black is the new black.

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I know it’s not fashion forward, but it’s really just perfect in my eyes. It’s cut beautifully, her hair is just right, and the diamond necklace is simple and classic. I would probably really wear this if I went to an award show. Sorry Rooney.

Kate Hudson Ab-solutely great.

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I was on the fence about this dress, because I really didn’t think it fit her that well. I think that top piece should have been hiked up a bit, but this morning, looking at the pics, I kind of love it. It’s modern, her body is sick, and her hair is great.

Taraji P. Henson is cookie-ing.300174D600000578-3389353-image-m-229_1452472594459.jpg

White is just beautiful if you can pull it off, and Taraji was working that gown like nobody’s business. In fact, I was embarrassed watching her pose, but I loved this dress. Simple elegant, modern, and sophisticated. Great hair, perfect earrings. A+.

Helen Mirren knows how to dress.

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I adore the silouette of this dress. That perfect little detail of the illusion netting setting off the sweetheart neckline made this dress a winner. I didn’t like the necklace. I wish it were much simpler, but this dress made me swoon.

Lily James “Rose” to the occassion.

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The fabric of this dress looks like heaven. I’m pretty sure it’s what heaven is made of. I could live without the drapey thing in the back, but I loved this gown.

J to the Lo

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All hail the queen of the carpet. I am a little bit not into the cape thingy, but the color on her, the draping, the perfectly GORGEOUS HAIR, those shoes, were all red carpet awesomesity. Jenny from the block is a knock-out.

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