gratitude-a-thon day 896: starting again


I am thinking a lot these days, about this summer, the last summer before both of my kids will be away at school.

I gotta tell you, it’s fucking weird.

I am trying to imagine what it will be like not to have the stress of HAVING to grocery shop and then cook a dinner with all the food groups. Because, see,  my husband is easy peasy and would be happy to eat a placemat and paper napkin for dinner. I’ve been wondering what the impact on laundry will be when there isn’t, and I’m not using names HERE, a person who looks at a piece of clothing, decides not to wear it, and puts it in the hamper because it’s easier than hanging up, or shoving in an overstuffed drawer. I’ve been pondering whether not having kids tramping in and out all the time will make the house feel like a monastery, where I will have to chant just to feel alive.

I’m telling you, it’s very unsettling to imagine a situation you haven’t bee in, in 21 years. It’s a little bit like going backwards, except for I’m not as cute as I was back then.

But I am smarter, and hopefully, I’ll be able to figure out all the good things that will come with this change. Spontaneous trips, less cleaning, no shoe department in the front entryway. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to being scared, and freaked out, and just a little panicked. It’s sort of a big change, you know? And I’ve never been one to embrace change gracefully. I guess while they’re learning to be independent, I’ll be learning (again) too.

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