gratitude-a-thon day 1010: kindness exists, even when it’s dark out


If there were a twelve step program to shun yourself of the dark ugliness that is this presidency, I would go to meetings on the hour.

This man will never represent me. I will never support him or his demeaning and bigoted ideas. I won’t ever believe in his dismantling of democracy, or his 10 word vocabulary, or his fucking Twitter obsession.

Yesterday I brought my daughter to the Ear, Nose and Throat specialist who is in a nearby building that has been there since before she was born, and is currently in the center of a major construction site. As we sat in the waiting room, the building began to shake. I dismissed it as some particularly close digging, but as we sat there and it continued, I asked the receptionists about it and they told me that it goes on like that all day long. They said they have the feelings of movement when they’re home, like a form of PTSD. The ground beneath us was literally moving, and it gave me the feeling that the world was shifting below me, that all that had been sturdy and logical was no more.

This sturdy building was shaking like an earthquake was hitting it.

Which is, I realize, how I feel since this president was elected. There is a seismic shift in the house of white that I cannot swallow, I cannot believe and I cannot tolerate. I constantly feel like I am in a war zone, that there is an instability of all I’ve ever known. Make no mistake about it, this is not Republican. Trump rules a new party called the Disgusticgans.

Anyway, I know this is not my malady alone. I share this sick feeling with millions. They are the world citizens that give me hope. Just yesterday, I was buoyed by the Muslims who are helping to repair the Jewish cemeteries that are being desecrated. They give me hope. They are like medicine for this ache I have deep in my heart.

Last night, my friend, who is equally as disturbed by our current state of affairs, told me to watch this: The Kindness Diaries on Netflix. I did, and I felt a little better.

For like a full 30 minutes.

Gratitude for those resisters and those people in the world that are trying to fight for what is just and right and human. They are the RX for what ails me.


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