gratitude-a-thon day 1086: dear sean spicer, NO

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Dear Sean Spicer,

No. Just no. You do not get to lie to the American people, blatantly, like a high school freshman caught replacing the stolen Grey Goose with water in their parent’s liquor cabinet, and then expect those same people to laugh, haha, when you try and pass it off as no biggie.

No. Just no. You do not get to work for a man who lies regularly, spits venomous hate at nearly all groups, who is making our country look like the Mickey Mouse Club, if the Mickey Mouse Club regularly lied and promoted hate. Not on my watch.

Nope. No way are you going to try and pretend like your tenure at the White House was some sort of drug-addled, golden handcuff situation where you just couldn’t leave. Not buying your lack of character or patriotism, man. You made our president’s lies seem like truth, degraded our press and pretended you were just doing your job.

No. Nonono. You can’t know go on your apology tour and position yourself as having a great sense of humor about yourself to get on our good side. “Oh that Sean Spicer, he’s a good egg.” NO. This is not happening. You are an accomplice, dude, and NO.

You can keep trying to get us to believe there was some sort of coercion, or blackmail that made you remain Press Secretary for a full six months, throwing your childish tantrums and lying like a corpse, but no deal. There are no alternate facts, only facts. There is no confeve, you idiot. You are complicit. The end.

Gratitude goes to those whose eyes remain open to the sleight of hand this administration continues to try and pass off. No. Just no.