Day 1,093,938,837 quarantine: We have run out of vacuum cleaner bags, so we are wading in dust. We’re using the dust as resistance and calling it exercise. My Stepz app doesn’t know how many more calories I’m burning and is not recording correctly (company must consider before next pandemic). The dog looks like a miniature wooly mammoth. His hair is so long, we could use him as a dust mop, only he is so tired from all of the walks we take him on to get out of the house that he cannot move once home and collapses into the nearest pile of laundry. Speaking of, for every one piece of laundry we put into the hamper, four pieces come out. The clothes are so bored from not being able to leave the house that they are now having sex and multiplying. Use some birth control, wouldja clothes.
Some cities are opening this week. How this is a good idea I just don’t get. There’s still so much we don’t know about this thing. Also, the last thing on my mind is going bowling, but apparently, this is very important in Georgia.
The president has become a one-man parody show. Much funnier than SNL. Every afternoon you can turn on his, as Colin Jost calls it, “improv show” and watch him pretend to be a doctor. He is a stable genius, you see, and thinks we should be exposing ourselves to sunlight and drinking disinfectant to rid ourselves of Covid 19. This is the man who is leading the free world, a liar who is essentially encouraging Clorox shots for all (down at the bowling alley, maybe). Yesterday he tweeted about the Nobel prize, but spelled Nobel like this–Noble. Both of these incidents, he claims were just sarcasm. He thinks this is one way to try and make up for his shortcomings (stupidity is what I really mean here), to pretend he was being sarcastic. Only he wasn’t and as he would say if he were speaking to himself, “and everybody knows it.” Maybe he confused the word “sarcasm” with “stupid,” easy to do.
As a country, we have been orphaned. We have no leadership. Well, I mean there’s Dr. Fauci, but other than that, our president is touting dangerous medical information and lying to the public. Remember when he said back in mid-March, “We only have 15 cases and once they go away, we’ll have none.” And then, “One day it will just go away like a miracle.” The thing here is that he has been lying for his entire presidency, but now people are dying by the hundreds because of his lies and failure to listen and lead. By. the. hundreds. DAILY. (Not that I even know what day it is. You can spend all day thinking it’s Thursday and then find out it’s Friday and momentarily get excited because it’s the weekend and you think you can go out, then remember that the weekend is just like any other day now…..)
I know our economy is in deep, deep trouble, but I will always put human lives before the economy. I don’t care if you’re in a nursing home and you are very ill, you do not deserve to die alone, so that I can get my nails done, or for GOD sakes, go bowling.
As always, I am grateful for the essential workers, the medical professionals, and all the brave people who work in the hospitals. And of course, anybody who makes me laugh these days is at the top of my gratitude list. What are you grateful for today? What’s helping you to get through this total and complete insanity?
PS I am also grateful for the series finale of Homeland. It was so satisfying and perfectly done. Need a binge–this is a good one. You’re welcome!