I had a late hair appointment last night when a critical text came from my sister. “FASHION ALERT: THE EMMY’S ARE ON TONIGHT.” How did I miss this? If having a new puppy, obsessing over a work project, and following the trials and tribulations of our former president with hope and glee means I don’t even know there’s a major red carpet happening, then let’s face it, I need a reboot. STAT.
THE WORST. THE LOOKS YOU LOVE TO HATE.
CALEY CUOCO. SHE IS NOT IN FIRST CLASS, THAT’S FOR SURE.
As star of The Flight Attendant, I expected more from a fashion A-lister than this major air disaster. This bad mark from from a girl who would marry a piece of tulle, if I weren’t already married. “This is your Captain speaking, get some highlights in your hair and rethink your fashion choices before the next flight.”
SANDRA OHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Forget Killing Eve, this schmatta was killing me. Did she steal this from Prince’s closet, or what?
JULIA GARNER. THERE’S A HOLE IN YOUR DRESS.
I really like this dress, except for the triangular piece of fabric that’s missing. We know you have a cute belly button. We know you have a flat tum tum. What we don’t know is why a double nominee would wear something even Ruth would’ve turned her nose up at.
MELANIE LYNSKY. SHE SHOULD HAVE WORN A YELLOW JACKET.
The color is like the walls of a bad dental office. The top fits, but the grazing tulle, a fabric I’d truly like to wear daily, just doesn’t make her larger than the average bear’s boobies look supported. There are toooooooooooo maaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnny ruffffffffffffffffffffffffffles. It’s kinda like a souped up peignoir set Laura might wear on the Dick Van Dyke show on a night when she really wanted to get some.
LAURA LINNEY. GOOD FROM THE NECK UP.
The top of this dress looks like a priest married a Christmas Tree Skirt. Wendy might have gotten away with it on Ozark, but Laura, we’re just not having it.
ELLE FANNING. BY A HAIR.
I don’t love the dress, but it wouldn’t be on the “worst” list if it weren’t for the hair. This is the girl whose mom puts those pink curlers all over her head the night before the school picture. This is the old lady around the corner who’s had this do since 1924. This is the worst hair since the Bride of Frankenstein.
AND NOW, THE HITS, THE GIRLS WHO WORE IT BEST.
LIZZO. A BIG THUMBS UP.
in the category of “go big or go home,” this very elaborate red number was volumes of tulle, (which by now you know my deeply intense adoration of), was a major hit in my book. The color was stunning, the layers and layers of heavenly ruffles were fun and exciting. This is a girl who made a very big entrance, and I for one was so there for it.
LILY JAMES. WAS SHE MADE FOR THIS DRESS, OR WAS THIS DRESS MADE FOR HER.
The only thing that could fit Lily better is her skin. This is a gorgeous silhouette and a fabulous sparkly color that matched her hair like they were dyed together. This is a head-to-toe SLAM DUNK 10.
REESE WITHERSPOON AND HER 174TH GOOD LOOK IN A ROW.
I think Reese knows her bod and what works and what doesn’t. This worked like Merrick Garland is working to put Trump away. Ba-bam, that blue is everything. Great shoe. And i love the volume on this stick straight hair.
This one, she is up there on the style stairway that leads to heaven. It’s so often that a strapless goes wrong, with either too much boob hanging out, or an emphasis on how little is there. This classic black is all loveliness. I do not like the hair, but everything else was so good, I couldn’t take off points.
AMANDA SEYFRIED. MERMAID ON THE CARPET.
This subtle pink bling fabric perked up Amanda’s natural pale skin in a beautiful way. I love that delicate piece of tulle (I KNOW, I am talking tulle again, and you’re wondering if I’ll ever stop) at the top. The whole thing screams Merriam Webster’s definition of “pretty.”
Ok, what was your fave? Who did you hate? Spill, please.