Hey, member me? It’s been a minute, and for that, I apologise, but here I am and we’re back on the carpet for all the hot takes and fashion faux pas.

You’re wearing THAT? The Worst:

Yasmin Finney, A Feather in Your Cap, er, Face.

How many peacocks were killed to make this face-framing disaster? The dress has a cool shape, but everybody on the carpet was probably like, “GOD, I hope I’m not sitting behind her.”

“Wicked Director going through the contract with Ariana Grande: “And you will have to dress like Glinda for two years.”

I love her. I love her commitment to the part, which she’d longed for and dreamed about since she saw the show when she was an embryo. But this dress, a cross between Mother Ginger in The Nutcracker who houses a trillion kids who scamper out from under in the first act, and a toilet paper roll doll is horrendible. Follow the yellow brick road home and change and I’d rejoicfy.

Wicked Director going through the contract with Cynthia Erivo: “And you’ll dress like an evil bitch, even though your character (spoiler alert) is truly the good one, for two years.”

She’s been bringing it to the carpet at every award show this year. Dazzling displays of bad assery, one dress after another, but damn, this is just sartorially evil. Who knew when the song said “Something bad is happening in Oz,” that they were talking about this dress. Side note: the nails. As my sister said last night, “How do you, uh, wipe your ass with nails like that?” How do you do ANYTHING?

Timothy Chala MAY have worn the worst suit ever.

Again, he’s a fucking Brando in the making, a truly savant-ish, superior, comes-along-only-once-in-a-very-little-while guy, but a butter yellow (and yes, I’m aware it’s the color of the moment), leather suit, with BLACK SHOES, no less? And a girlfriend who looked like she was an extra in Anora (a Kardashian, WHICH PUZZLES ME), No, nope, I gave at the office.

Daryl Hannah does not make a splash.

I appreciate that she didn’t want to be a glambot, but also, if you’re going to go so casual, at least make it work. The concept is good, but proportions are off, the hair should have been up. It’s not a presenter-at-the-Oscars-worthy look.

Goldie get-some-glasses and CHANGE YOUR HAIR Hahn

I get it, she wore the color of her name–ugh. This dress didn’t flatter, although in this picture she looks a lot better than she did on the screen. as a 79 year old, with a 79 year old’s skin, maybe wear some sheer fabric to cover up the bits that aren’t 25 anymore, maybe wear your funky specs out on the stage so you can read, which is why you’re there. Maybe change your fucking hair for once in your life.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, please break so I can make Halle a dress for the Oscar Ball.

I love her head, her head looks gorg, but this dress is a mosaic of every mirror that’s ever been broken since 1864.

Storm Ried as Batgirl goes to the prom.

Just in case, she was called away to a super hero event, she was ready to fly away.

An extra from Anora shows up on golden (yellow) boy Timothy Chalamet’s arm.

With a gazillion dollars at your disposal, the girlfriend of a superstar, stylists falling at your feet, your big sis, a contemporary model with exceptional taste and you choose stripper fashion? (WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO STRIPPERS EVERYWHERE WHO WOULD OBVIOUSLY HAVE BETTER TASTE), Kylie Kardashian looked like she could have been Chalamet’s escort, or his slutty mom. He’s so fresh faced, and she’s so, ugh, Kardashian.

And the style stars, the ones who actually had mirrors, (that were not on Halle’s dress.)

Da’Vine WHAT A FUCKING Joy Randolph.

From the flattering hair, to the shape, jewelery, and shoes, this woman looked elegant, stunning and I’m just gonna say it, PERFECT. For a woman who is not a size 2, I thought she set the carpet on fire with this classic, but modern look that she should wear every day for the rest of her life.

Sing it, sister, this was one of my favorite dresses EVER.

Ok, this was an exception to the rule that she must always dress like Elphaba–this jaw-dropping white dress with flowers and tulle (do I have to remind you how I want to MARRY tulle and have little tulle babies?) made me scream and swoon. It’s a dress that’s made up of every single thing I love. and it’s in my ALL TIME FAVORITE DRESSES IN THE ENTIRETY OF THE WORLD category.

Zoe Saldonit

I am a little in love with the top of this dress–that modern, but feminine netting–swooooooooon. But the bottom leaves me ambivalent. I don’t love the bubbled layers, but without, it might have just been too simple. And the bubble thing is on-trend, so get it, and yet, something doesn’t work quite right for me, even though I totally wouldn’t shut up about how much I loved it during the entire show….! The necklace is off. it’s the wrong piece. I would have done no necklace and long earrings. She looked fresh faced and lovely overall, and it was great to see how happy she was when she won.

Felicity Jones-ing for this dress.

The fabric and cut-outs made this conservative dress a winner winner chicken dinner. Consider this dress without the bow and it’s super mod, but with, it’s classic with a twist. That subtle hair, jewelery and makeup won me over.

Michele Yeoh. If she wasn’t an actress, she could be a stylist.

Does she ever get it wrong? Does she ever choose ugly? Does she ever miss? That would be a no, a no, and yup, a no. A 2025 color, a shape that flatters, a simplicity that wins, and a necklace I want.

Wadja think? Give me your style stars and absolute NOs.