gratitude-a-thon day 550: the forecast

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Cheryl Roegner of the North End neighborhood of Boston, sits in the sun and the snow on a bench in Paul Revere Mall next to a snow sculpture she says she did not have a hand in making, Sunday, Feb. 10, 2013 in the North End neighborhood of Boston. (Gene J. Puskar/AP)

Perhaps I have underplayed the winter weather that’s been happening here (you know how subtle I can be). Maybe, for those of you who are lucky enough not to live here, I’ve not given you an appropriate lay of the land.

We are buried in fucking snow.

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There’s nowhere to park. That is, if you can even get your car out.

We are surrounded by walls of white. Our yards are filled, our streets are narrowed, our souls are weary. We wield not only shovels, but axes and hoes to cut through ice. We have 95.7 inches of snow. We are tired of our boots. We are down on our coats. We no longer have any gloves that match. We have icicles (the size of NASA’s finest) on our houses that threaten to kill our savings, or anybody who might be walking by when one decides to fall. We can no longer rely on public transportation. We are cranky, and short-tempered, and mean to even the nicest people. We are giving our dogs too many treats because we are too cold to take them on  longer walks (ok, maybe this is just me).

We are dreaming of vacations, where someone will serve us fruity drinks by a pool overlooking the ocean. We are googling real estate in sunny climates. We are wondering how we got here, to the Tundra, without consent.

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Chris Laudani, a bartender at Back Bay Social and an avid runner, has been revealed as the mystery man who was photographed as he shoveled snow off the iconic Boston Marathon finish line during Tuesday’s raging blizzard.

But, we are Boston. A little snow won’t keep us down for long. We will rise up, (well, I might not, but most of us will). We will count the days until the magnolia trees line Marlborough Street, and Marathon Monday announces spring. We will crowd the Charles on bikes and feet, and skateboards. We will throw on our sunglasses and saunter down Newbury Street. We will applaud the Sox as they open up Fenway. We will hit the waterfront, eat outside, glory at the swan boats. We will savor every moment of warmth and sun, remembering the mornings of zero degree temperatures and  perpetual forecasts of snow. We will survive. We will get through. That’s what we do, in this town. Don’t forget we are Boston Strong (not be be confused with Boston Warm), this is nothing.

 

gratitude-a-thon day 542: Mr. Blue Sky

If you live in Boston and you’re not a winter person, and you don’t really love having 70 inches of snow outside your house, you’re kind of fucked right now. So, we’re all doing what we have to do to get by. For me, that means BLASTING THIS SONG ALL DAY. AND DANCING AROUND IN EIGHTEEN LAYERS OF CLOTHES. Done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2Ncxw1xfck

gratitude-a-thon snowy day 541: an interview with mother nature

www.smilepolitely.com

With all this snow, I’ve been a little house-bound, so I called Mother Nature to see what the hell has been going on (you get crazy during times like these, and yes, I figured she was likely busy, but why not try). Amazingly, she was available.

ME: Mother Nature, thanks so much for speaking with the gratitude-a-thon.

MOTHER NATURE: You’re welcome, and you can call me MN.

ME: So, like, what’s the deal with all this snow? Just have a break up, or something? You seem angry.

MN: Well, you might just look at your water consumption to answer your question, Miss Tude-Athon. Do you realize what all those Smart Water and Poland Spring bottles are doing?

ME: Wait, so this is about me, and  my bottled water habit?

MN: Well, climate change is real, or are you too busy reading that raggy Huffpost to have noticed? By the way, what happened to the Huffpost, it used to be real news, now it could practically be mistaken for The National Enquirer.

ME: I know, Arianna has lost her grip. And good God, what about Brian Williams? But back to the snow. So, you’re saying this is due to climate change? That’s why we have like 60 inches of snow out there?

MN: What are you a Kardashian? Um, yes, that’s why.

ME: No wonder it’s started to feel personal. So, no break-up?

MN: I didn’t say that.

ME: Well, if I break up with my bottled water, will you consider wreaking your anger in a healthier way?

MN: I will consider it, but he was from Boston, so I don’t know.

ME: Well, just an FYI, all this white makes you look fat. And you know, looking good is the best revenge.

MN: Fat? (Screams) “Mothers Little Helpers–Call off the snow, it’s not making me look good.”

ME: Well, thanks for taking the time to talk to me. You’ve cleared up a lot. If only you could clear up my driveway, my porch, my walkway, and the icicles threatening lives that are hanging from my house.

I’ve-had-it-a-thon day 537: The winter of my discontent

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Yes, in addition to mountains of snow, it’s 6. As in 1,2,3,4,5.SIX. And would you just look at Wed, Thu, Sat, Sun, Mon with the LITTLE SNOW FLAKE SYMBOLS. SERIOUSLY, people. Where are we ALASKA?

 

Stop me if I’ve already told you this– I HATE winter, and in particular ABHOR snow. Really, you never picked that up before? I must be more subtle than I thought. Well, winter is not my idea of fun. And this winter, this is the winter of my discontent (and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone).  I no longer ski, no longer skate, no longer have little kids, with whom I sled. After the first layer of white, which agreed, makes everything look fresh and new, creates lovely branch art, and reminds me of an idylllic New England scene from my childhood, I am good, cooked, finished with the season I used to call winter, but now just call EVIL.

But I’m not calling the shots here, because if I were, we’d have four seasons of sunshine. Nope, this is Mama Nature’s call. And she is all about white this season. And cold. She is currently into frigid, frigid, cold. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that lady was mad about something.

Anyway, the natives are restless over here. My daughter is bored out of her mind, and just wants her mid-terms to be over (they’ve been postponed twice, now. At this rate, they’re going to be finals). And I can barely walk the dog, since the snow is way higher than he is. We got more than another foot yesterday, which topped off the two feet we had. And yup, I just read we’re getting another three inches tomorrow.

I’m in a mood.

I’ve tried to embrace it, be one with it, meditate my way through it, get my gratitude on, but I feel like a prisoner, who wants to make a break. I have made sauce. I have made chicken soup. I cleaned out a closet. I even shoveled (which I am not supposed to be doing because of my back, but that’s how bored I was). But now, I just want to make a run for it. It’s like the punchline to the old Jewish American Princess joke that asks “What’s a Jewish American Princess’s favorite whine? Take me to Miami.” Yup. That’s how I feel. In fact, take me anyplace where it’s not hard to get out of your fucking house.

Today, I will re-boot, and take a big hot bath in gratitude. But first, I will complain. And be mad. And see how much real estate is in California.