gratitude-a-thon day 2031: fighting back, or how to resist laying in traffic

My first instinct was to lay in traffic. On. The. Mass. Pike. Then I thought of my family and friends and how unfair to leave them…….

Then I decided we should all lay in traffic.

I tried to get my husband, but he was in a meeting. My son was another problem, he was in California. Plus he just started a new job and I thought maybe his boss might not like it if he told them he was going back East to lay in traffic with his mother. My daughter was at soccer practice with no phone, but she wants to be a lawyer and she would probably want to convince me she could help save the country if she could just go directly to law school and stop with her useless undergrad studies. My friends were hard enough to wrangle for a dinner together, so I didn’t even try.

Instead I decided to just lay on the couch. And cry. And then cry some more.

Here’s what I really did and gratitude for each and every thing, because every step helped me feel just a little bit better about the political shit show going on right now:


–I turned off the news. I am a political news junkie. I get six news alerts on my phone, I check online constantly while I work. I have the car tuned to MSNBC, CNN and NPR. I had to just turn it all off. It helped not to have to watch. Sure, was I pretending it wasn’t happening? Yup. But sometimes out of sight, out of mind is exactly what can help you get back on your feet.

I sat with my husband on Friday night, not watching the news for the first time in two years and had a giant vodka & tonic with a splash of lemonade and discussed the week that was. We decided the country should break into two countries. It wasnt the vodka, we think it’s a really good idea. That’s how divided we are anyway. We’re only 200 years old, we can create something new. Who’s in? Anyway, just quieting ourselves and being together helped.

I connected with friends and family and like-minded people. This is as good as it gets in terms of healing yourself and finding the chutzpah to move on in the best possible way. I am not alone and neither are you. There are many of us who feel alienated and despondent and angry and want to eat a truckload of potato chips (oh, maybe that’s just me). Reach out. Don’t go it alone. I messaged with a friend during the initial vote and even in our despair, we made ourselves laugh (a little bit).


–I noticed the trees. I went to my daughter’s soccer game on Saturday in the formerly great state of Maine, that traitor and all-around miserable Susan Collins’ territory. I gave the side-eye to every ME license plated car. But I also took in the changing colors of Fall and allowed the sun to hit me in the face without sunscreen on and just tried to breathe deeply and think about the natural beauty around me (and not how the powers that be are trying to ruin it). Seriously, nature is never a letdown and can help a tortured soul like nothing else.

I sat down and decided to figure out exactly the best way to help Democrats slaughter the GOP in the midterms (I will take a close race, too, no need to be greedy). I signed up for all sorts of organizations that can tell me what I can do. I am considering where I can canvas, who I can give money to, and possibly holding a community party where we can commiserate and get on computers and give to candidates that need our help.

I still feel like I want to throw up everything I’ve eaten since kindergarten, but I know I am not alone and if we all work together to fight this, we can (I’m not really sure of this, but I’m going to act as if here, so play along).

mad-it-tude-a-thon: Because we should expect more


“He worked very hard,” Trump said of Porter.

“He did a very good job when he was at the White House.”

“He’s also very sad now.”

“He also, as you know, says he’s innocent.”

“He said very strongly yesterday that he’s innocent.”

 “We hope that he will have a wonderful career.”
This is our president’s response to the allegations that Rob Porter, White House Secretary, has been accused of physically and mentally abusing his two ex-wives, Colbie Holderness and Jennifer Willoughby. 
There is no mention of the women. There is only “he.” There is no comment on the powerful words each has spoken about Porter, or the terrifying picture of Colbie Holderness with a black eye. There is no “she,” only “he.”
During a pivotal moment in history, when the country-wide #metoo movement is creating a seismic shift in how we view the way men in power can abuse women and get away with it, our president, accused by 16 women of sexual assault himself, will not even speak to the fact that this is a huge problem in this country, let alone that he’s part of it. In a candid Access Hollywood tape, (that, by the way, ended media personality Billy Bush’s career, but not our president’s)  leaked out, Trump says the damning words: Screen Shot 2018-02-12 at 10.23.35 AM.png
And yet, knowing his gross abuses of women, I still expect more. I still expect that the person we vote into the highest political role in the land be more. Why?

Because we should expect more.

We should expect that the president of the United States be someone you’d like your kids to grow up and become. While it seems to me fair, you may disagree with policies of the president, there should be no disagreement over the character of the man. I am continually disappointed/disgusted/want to run through the streets screaming that our political leader is void of respect for women, minorities and not to overstate, but seemingly all of humanity (go ahead and giggle, but has he not played, no pun intended, Russian Roulet with Kim Jung-un?)
Here on Monday morning, I once again remind myself that this man is not who we are. We are better than this. We deserve more. I remind myself not to let this go, to allow this to become acceptable. It is not. It will never be. RESIST.

gratitude-a-thon day 2015: reminder that this is not normal, people


I grew up taking for granted that the president of the United States was someone who had an aspirational air, who wanted to do the right thing, who had the moral character of Mother Theresa. It’s obvious, that many of our leaders have had less than stellar ethics, but Donald trumps them all.

As year two begins, Trump can’t stop saying things that are untrue, racist and just plain stupid.

His antics make me react as follows:

  • I get angry, like a festering boil about to erupt (how’s that for a gross visual).
  • I get fatigued from all the anger and hopelessness I feel and consider napping for the remainder of his presidency.
  • I get overwhelmed and just want to watch dog and baby videos, while eating carbs and checking out the housing prices in Canada.

I have to remind myself that it is imperative not to let anger, exhaustion or dog or baby videos (even the really good ones) get in the way of remembering that this kind of leadership is 100% unacceptable, that it is, in fact, NOT LEADAERSHIP AT ALL. And it’s not who we are as a country. I have to remind myself again and again and again.

So, I thought I’d remind you, too. In case you were in the fetal position waiting for this to end.

Donald Trump is a racist. There is no truer statement. He lies like Pinnochio, he has no soul. We can’t give in to making this the norm. Because it would be easy to turn our backs and ignore it all. But to be a responsible and human person, one must keep up the fight, keep remembering that there is decency and compassion in so many. Do not allow yourself to fade from the constant battering. Never let this become normal.

This is not normal. My gratitude to all those who continue to remind us on the news and on social media that this will never be right, no matter how many times Trump and his cohorts deny the lies.

This is not normal. This can never become normal.