Music people have a set of fashion rules which don’t apply to other red carpet events. Because, you know, there is fashion and there is looking good. And music folk like to do fashion. But no matter what, I always go for looking good.
And here we go.
People who clearly did not have mirrors, or who thought they looked hip, but didn’t deliver, or just plain looked absurdly dumb.
1. Paris Hilton. What’s she doing here anyway? But if you’re doing the Grammy’s, how about you wear something that looks like you’re going to a super cool music event, not a sleazy debutante ball. This dress is like a combination hooker goes to the prom with stripper gets married for the fourth time. The hair alone, is like a bad 1950’s housewife ‘do, but add that high collar and she looks like a pampered poodle being walked on 5th avenue. She’d a been lucky if that neckline had choked some sense into her before she left the house.
2. Chrisette Michelle. Oh dear. Oh no. The ways in which this outfit is not working are so numerous, I don’t have a big enough keyboard. This is Boca Raton, assisted living facility-wear. It’s one of Steven Tyler’s leisure suits (which he usually pulls off, I might add). The only thing I like is the bra. And if she’d been smart, she’d have taken off the whole thing and worn that with her panties and probably have been on my best dressed list.
3. Natasha Bedinfield. Blech. Shapeless and lifeless, ain’t nothing celebratory about this shmata. Sale rack at the Dollar Store.
4. Daft Punk. I guess I just like to see a man’s face at a red carpet event, you know? I mean, is that too much to ask?
5. Madonna. You don’t get to wear your son as an accessory, Madge. And to think, once upon a time you ruled this show.
6. Pharrell Williams. I love this dude’s music, but Pharell, what’s with the Dudley Do-Right hat, man? And if you’re going that route, maybe give us the rest of the Canadian Mounted Police uni, instead of the top portion of Tony Soprano’s track suit (may he rest in peace).
And now for the music to my ears.
1. Jane Roper and Alistair Moock. The local peeps get my top spot! From right here in Boston, Alistair Moock, and his smarty pants and adorable writer wife hit the carpet looking awesome. Love that dress, Jane, not to mention the Linda-Hamiton-in-The-Terminator arms. And The blue tie and pocket square are spot on. And what I love even more is the album nominated that Alistair wrote for, and with one of his twin daughters, Clio after she was diagnosed with leukemia in 2012, Singing Our Way Through: Songs for the World’s Bravest Kids. Check it out at: http://www.moockmusic.com. These two know how to dress, but they’ve also got style. In the very best way.
2. Guiliana Ranic. I hate to give my number two spot to an entertainment reporter, instead of the entertainment, but this dress was too good to pass up. The fit, the cut, the color, her hair, her make-up, she looked smoking. the whole damn thing worked and worked. I really, really, really liked this dress.
3. Miguel. I just thought this guy looked super cool, in the most comfortable way. I loved the proportion of the jacket, and the boots are great. I just dig this whole look. Way to do the Grammy’s.
4. Anna Faris. This dress is plain and simple, but fits beautifully. It’s not too skimpy at the top, which so many strapless dresses are, and I like the little train. Thanks to the “mani-cam” I got a little crush on that bracelet/ring deal, too.
5. Taylor Swift. Hard to get it wrong when you’re this young, tall and gorgeous. I love the simplicity of this dress and hair. Sophisticated youth. It’s good. Really good.
6. Katy Musgraves. Ok, the boots are just dumb, but I have to say that when she wore this dress on stage, I gasped. It’s so cute. And she had on other shoes when she won, so the boots weren’t an issue, but I can’t find a photo of that. This dress is wildly colorful and a big fat party. For me, it was one of the best looks of the night.
7. Chrissie Tiegen. Wow. Wowza. Wow-er-ama. This is stunning, like over the rainbow, more or less perfect in every possible area. Not too much boobage, no competing accessories, and loving the simple hair. In my imaginary life as a singer, I’d wear this.