When you lose someone, in the moment there is just pain. Searing, penetrating, all-encompassing pain. We cry more tears than we think we have. We can think of nothing but what is gone. Somehow we plod through the quicksand of grief. Eventually, at some point, which seems a little different for everyone, we realize the kindnesses afforded us when our pain was too big to hold alone. We see that old friends come forward to keep us afloat, and people you never knew show up, honoring what’s been lost in unusually life affirming ways. Suddenly one day, we see that deep inside the loss there are some gains. Not that the loss is a happy thing, but that even in all the pain, a happy thing can also exist.
I have made the loveliest connection because of a loss. I still wish the loss was a silly dream, but I am so grateful for the pretty little flower that grew out of this wreckage.