It’s my birthday. BUT DON’T GET ME ANYTHING. Really.
Unless, it’s like jewelry. Because you know how I love me some bling. A little sparkle goes a long way in my book. But really, I have a lot of jewelry. So don’t get me any more. How much jewelry can one person wear (an endless amount, actually), But I’m all set for jewelry. DON’T GET ME JEWELRY OR ANYTHING ELSE. I don’t need anything. Really.
Unless it’s clothing. Like something cute, or warm, or you know, has a ruffle, or is made of leather, or makes me look thin. If it makes me look thin, you should probably give it to me. But really, you should not give me anything, you should buy yourself something, and think of me. Yeah, that’d be a great gift to me–BUY YOURSELF SOMETHING, AND THINK OF ME.
But I mean, if it’s for my house, and it’s like an antique, or decorative, anything white, or you know, like a candle, one of my favorite all time things, or art, or something like that, well, gosh, how could I say no. But honestly, you should not buy me a thing. Seriously. I’m good. I have everything.
If it’s food, maybe you should give it to me. Because it will go bad, and also because I LOVE FOOD. But probably, you should just eat it yourself. I’m good. I mean, unless someone gives me some clothes that make me look thin, then I could eat it and not have to worry. But that’s not going to happen, because nobody should give me a thing. I am really and truly good. I don’t even need one thing.
Unless, it’s like a book, God, I love a book. A good book, which, I’m sure is all anybody would get me, if they were getting me a book. But come to think of it, I have a Kindle, so I could like buy a book right now, at 7:04 AM if I wanted, so don’t buy me a book. I have books. And I have a bookstore on my nightstand. Please, buy yourself a good book and think of me when you read it. That would be awesome.
Of course if you wanted to take me somewhere, like out to lunch, or dinner, or for drinks, or coffee, or to a museum, or play, or a book reading, or concert, or to the gym, or the movies, or something like that, that would be something hard to turn down. I love to spend time with friends and family. I mean, who doesn’t, right? Am I right? But I know you’re probably busy, so you should skip taking me out, and just take some downtime for yourself. It’s important to do your stuff, and if you get some downtime, to just relax a little. We’re all rushing around too much. Yeah, forget it. Just cool out, and that’s a gift to me, in and of itself. Me thinking about you relaxing. Because I’m so fine. I don’t need anything. I have everything. I’M JUST SO GOOD.
But if it’s jewelry. Well…….