gratitude-a-thon day 960: too soon to laugh?

It’s been a week since the apocalypse, since what felt like a bait and switch the size of a small Italian village occurred, since the R.E.M. song It’s the End of the World got stuck in a loop in my head (in a loop in my head, my head, my head).

And we’re still all here. So, give yourself a round of applause for not moving to Canada, or jumping off the top of Trump Tower.

But a lot of us are still struggling, fearful and continuing to wonder how this could have happened. I’ll leave smarter people to dismantle that one. But I’d like to offer some tips that can help you take care of yourself. Because that’s the best thing we can all do right now.

1. Do not indulge in every comfort food you’ve ever loved to make yourself feel better. You’re midsection will look like the midwest. No reason not to look your best even though you’re living under a white nationalist, anti-semitic, misogynistic, anti-LGBTQ, anti-Muslim, Mexican, Black regime who thinks climate change is a hoax, right?

2. Meditation is a life saver. My friend and trainer Colleen Quinn, who couldn’t be smarter or more insightful,  reminded me of the Loving Kindness Meditation, which is really one of my most favorites:

May I be filled with lovingkindness.
May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May I be well in body and mind.
May I be at ease and happy. May someone tell me this election was all a fucking dream and I will wake up really soon.(I don’t think this is part of the original. I might have put it in myself.)

3. Don’t put off working out because of the state of the country. You need the endorphins. We all do. If you have any extras, send them to me STAT.

4. Do take warm baths (I love a lavender situation), light candles at night (actually I lit one at 4:27 today when it was pitch black out — but I digress). Cuddle up with your partner, your dog, or your best blanket and watch guilty pleasure tv. TURN OFF THE FUCKING NEWS. You really need to limit that shit.

5. This is the time to be around people who think like you. There’s plenty of time to engage with Trump supporters and try and understand them later, but right now, surround yourself with people who get your desire to bathe in macaroni and cheese and move to the moon.

6. Cut down on screen time. People like me who can’t get off this topic will just make you feel worse.

7. Put a safety pin on your coat to show people you’re a safe person. If the day gets away from you, take it off and stab yourself in the eye with it, it will make the idea of Trump in the White House feel less painful.(Do not try this at home, or at all).

8. Here is an excellent site that can help you know what to do now:http://www.holyfucktheelection.com

9. Figure out what charities could most use your donations. Then use that money for jewelry. This will TOTALLY MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER (oh, maybe that’s just me).

10. Laugh. Too soon? Nope. It’s time. It’s really time.

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