gratitude-a-thon day 1053: bad movie alert


You’re fucking kidding me. Scarelett Johansson, did you  watch this movie? Yeah, didn’t think so. 


This is a public service announcement: Do not go to the movie Rough Night. Wonder Woman was sold out and my daughter, sick all week with a painful kidney infection, had to get out of the house, and so we thought maybe Elle Magazine’s quote in the commercial might be right–“Funnier than Bridesmaids.” Cancel your subscription to that fashion rag,  because those beauty queens LIED. Worst movie I’ve ever seen in a theater (I’ve seen a few doozies on Netflix and On Demand, but this one takes the popcorn for a theater). Not exaggerating even the tiniest bit. It’s just a good thing we were at the Superlux in barcaloungers. Thank God I had a blanket, a glass of wine and a turkey club. I wish I’d had an Ambien.

This is my question. Did ANYBODY watch this movie before it was released? Were they banking on lots of people being sequestered in their homes with illness, like my daughter, scratching to get out, and that being their audience–desperate sick folk? I mean, I wouldn’t make Trump watch this movie (that’s a lie, I would). And there were big people in this film–Scarlett Johansson, Zoe Kravitz, Kate MacKinnon. Demi Moore (looking all of 25) and Phil from Modern Family (pantless, giving me a tiny giggle) showed up, but they were only onscreen for less than five minutes. I promise on my children and my dog that I could have written a better script. That’s how bad it was, that I would say that. And promise on my most prized people (and yes my dog is a people). Everyone who sees this movie should be compensated for time lost.

Rough night? Yeah, it was.


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