gratitude-a-thon day 194: buh bye braces

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Before.
Before.
And after.
And after.

 

 

There are purple petunias in my backyard. They’re not that harsh deep purple color that’s garish and entirely too strong. They’re more of a purple flirting with a dash of pink. But they aren’t pink, so don’t get freaked out (I don’t like pink petunias). Anyway, they stand out like Elizabeth Taylor’s eyes. You know how you’d look at her, in all her beauty, but her eyes just sort of popped out like they were made of jewels. These purple guys make the white petunias out there, which have always been my favorites, and which I happen to think are fashionable and stylish (even after labor day) look like they are slumming. The purple ones, well, they’re the standouts in the crowd.

Yesterday my daughter got her braces off. After two years, of broken wires and swollen gums, sore teeth and a refusal to use her rubber bands, the heavy metal is in a trash can somewhere on Beacon Street. She has some gum swelling, so things will only get better, but she looks beautiful. And of course, she can’t stop looking at herself. And who could blame her, after toting around a full mouth of silver for two and a half years, she hasn’t seen what she really looks like since she was in 8th grade. She reminds me of the purple petunias. She’s that same kind of magic.

I have read about mothers being jealous of the way their daughters look, angry that their own youth has flown the coop. I can’t imagine that feeling for even one second. I love to see Ally’s youth on display, her flat stomach, her smooth skin. I could stare all day at her beautifully thick hair, that practically no hairdresser can even blow dry, and which has a blonde streak that she was born with. I adore her blue eyes, that I always wanted to have. I might be slightIy jealous of her nose, but no, I don’t think so. I have never been jealous of my daughter, who has always been prettier than me from the day she was born. I love it. You go, little Ally girl. You enjoy every day of your beauty. Don’t rely on it. It’s not everything. But gosh, it’s nice.

And so to my baby, who gets to see her teeth, I say gratefully, enjoy them, and use your big gorgeous smile often, and be thankful for your flawless complexion, and everything else about being young and pretty. As my mom used to say to me all the time, “Pretty is, as pretty does.” Yes, a thousand times yes, it’s more important what you look like on the inside (but it’s kind of fun to have a good looking exterior, too, mom).

gratitude-a-thon day 193: a summer weekend with lou and chris

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I brought Uncle Louie out to his garden to look at the tomatoes and basil and beans and flowers. This is land he has made into unspeakable beauty over the years.

This past weekend, we went to visit my Uncle Lou and Aunt Chris in Connecticut. Lou is my mother’s little brother, and the only remaining Uncle I have. Since my mother has been dead for 22 years and my dad for 12, Lou and Chris have acted much like parents to me, for which I will forever be grateful. By the time I had children, my mom had been gone for years and my dad wasn’t really in any kind of health to participate. Lou and Chris made a fuss. They visited and cooed, and sent gifts and made me feel like my children would have a little bit of the giant family I had when I was growing up.

Over the years, these two people have given me so much psychologically that it’s hard to quantify. One of the most beautiful things we’ve done together is to celebrate Thanksgiving at their house each year. It’s tradition. Sometimes there are loads of people, sometimes just my family, but always there is too much food, and a lot of laughs and enough love to package and send overseas to those less fortunate. We’ve been to the Vineyard together, and Italy, too.

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We took Aunt Chris out to dinner at her favorite restaurant. I missed Louie being there.

Louie has always been a whirlwind of activity. A vibrant firecracker of a guy. Never one to sit still, he was always building something, fixing what was broken, gardening, cooking, eating, or driving 20 miles out of his way for chicken that was 39 cents a pound instead of 59 cents a pound. A history teacher turned real estate agent, his passion for life was big as the gosh darn moon.

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Here’s Lou. He only sits for a minute, before he’s off to do the stairs again.

He is 91 now. And he has severe dimentia. He no longer has speech. Always a big guy, my Italian uncle has lost so much weight, even with my bad back, I could probably pick him up. He now has around the clock nurses in his home. He walks up and down the stairs upward of 100 times a day. Even the nurses can barely keep up. Even with more than nine decades tucked under his belt, you can’t keep this guy down.

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This is always how Lou and Chris have said goodbye to us when we leave. Chris came out to do it alone, but then Lou, surprisingly, came to the door and joined her on the porch.

It was terribly hard to see him this weekend. I know he has had a great life. And I know that we are nearing the end of it. My aunt, who has been with Lou since she was 17, is trying to let go, but with Lou in and out of her face 20 times a day, she is constantly reminded that she is losing her life partner, and she can’t quite catch up to it. Who could? How do you cope with life when it’s this real?

There’s so much more to say about endings and getting older, and accepting the way life rolls out. But I am sad today. I am sad, but I am grateful. But mostly, I am sad. And that’s the best I can do.

gratitude-a-thon day 191: bill clinton’s superpower

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Hey, this is a great article. It’s about the secret behind Bill Clinton’s success.  It’s well worth a read.

I can comment on number two. I was pregnant with Jake. We’d just arrived at the Vineyard. Peter and I were waiting for my cousins to arrive, so we went down to the beach to wait. There were just a couple people on the beach. We got up to take a walk, but it was short, because the winter had churned up too many rocks and my pregnant bare feet couldn’t deal. So, we turned around and all the people on the beach were in the parking lot (just behind the beach). “What’s going on?” we asked someone. “President Clinton just came through to visit a friend.” There are all sorts of funny little roads on the Vineyard, and this one went through the parking lot. Peter and I were big Bill fans and I was particularly upset to have missed this event. So, I sat my big ass and belly in that parking lot to wait for Bill and his entourage to come back through the parking lot. It was fun and actually became somewhat of a party. Word spread somehow and before we knew it, the parking lot was full of people coming from all over the place to catch a glimpse of the pre-scandal prez. We were checked out by secret service guys in short sleeved shirts, and sandals with socks. It was actually hours, but finally, Bill came down the dirt road and stopped smack in the parking lot to greet us. I got my chance to shake his hand and somehow felt it important to tell him that I had surgery the night of his primary win that allowed me to get pregnant. He gave me a big smile and looked at me with such sincerity, I felt like I was the absolute only person in the world. He really did have that magic. It was real.  My husband felt it too. We had been touched (turns out a little later an intern named Monica had been, too).

We might not all be able to develop that kind of focus on someone else, but we can all listen better. I for one, always try to (that is, when I can stop talking).

 

gratitude-a-thon day 190: small bites friday

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And it’s another edition of Small Bites Friday. Yum!

Yesterday, my friend Ron set up my new G4, which has been in the box in the corner of my office, since January. Wowza, this thing is billboard-sized awesome. Thanks, Ron. You are my man.

Sanjay Gupta changes his mind about weed. Hey, maybe he’s high.

You have to give it up to Robert and Doris Moody who have been married for 73 years. They eat one of my all time, highest ranked foods, pancakes everyday. And they’re 95 and 94. I’m getting out the Bisquick right now.

You can’t win if you don’t play, and I didn’t play or win, but this dude did. Congrats, man. Hope you have a blast spending it.

Learning something new is good for us. Cheese making, anyone?

I love when Target does a collaboration. This Phillip Lim looks like a good one. Here’s to affordable design for the masses, baby!

It’s not just another birthday, it’s another opportunity to eat more chocolate.

Another reason, the world should be going to the dogs. Loyalty. Gosh, I love them.

gratitude-a-thon day 189: you don’t have to be young to be fabulous

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I like the idea of breaking new ground as you get older. So, you can imagine how  much I loved this article entitled Nine Women Who Succeeded Later in Life. 

The baby boomers are doing everything longer and better than ever before. Why not think you can reinvent yourself at any age? What’s really to stop us, but fear (which is certainly a big red light, isn’t it though). I read a great quote yesterday, “The obstacle is the path.” That stopped me in my tracks. For like a whole five minutes, which for me, whose mind generally travels at the speed of sound from one thought to another, was like a decade in dog years. Every time you fail, it’s not a mistake, it’s part of your path. OHHHHHHH. I get it. Profound.

Gratitude to these ladies. And to anyone who isn’t 35 and embarks on something new. I say yes. I will try and follow in your footsteps.

gratitude-a-thon day 188: the swing

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I’m always looking for reasons to get my gratitude on. Today it’s something from a big long time ago.

We had a couple of apple trees in our backyard when I was growing up. They sort of made an umbrella of shade on a fairly large expanse. I had a red seated, chipped paint swing on a rusty chain under there. I used it a lot. It made me feel free and sort of like I was flying, which was one of my childhood ambitions. There was a branch that I used to try and touch with my toes. It forced me to pump harder and stretch my legs beyond their size. I could swing for a long time before I got tired of it. Sometimes it was the place I went when my dad was yelling.

For some reason, swings make me dizzy now, but back then, my backyard swing made me feel like I could reach the sun, and every single one of the planets.

gratitude-a-thon day 186: a perfect summer weekend

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Sky was still dark from storm, but there it was, a perfect rainbow.

I have been whiney about my bad vacation weather and my tooth for all of July. My tooth, as of this weekend, when I finished my antibiotics, finally feels bearable, and not a moment too soon. That was SO NOT FUN.

So, I just want to give thanks to my weekend, which took a great big bite outta summer. It was damn well near perfect, in fact.

Peter and Ally went to D.C. to visit Peter’s dad and the cousins, and Jake and I stayed home. My summer assault started on Friday night when I met my friend Luciana at Barcelona Wine Bar for an outdoor drink and dinner, which consisted of food I could eat for the rest of my life everyday and night. It was really fun, because it was A) Spontaneous B)  The light gave everything a beautiful glow, C) Luciana is so darn funny D) I stuffed myself with the most heavenly tomatoes from local Allandale farm, served with creamy herbed ricotta and the most delicious bread, as well as chicken pimiento, which has a bite that will make your lips burn.

The next day, my friend Colleen and I went to Crane’s Beach, which was packed, but perfect, and I ended the day with take-out from Barcelona (because I could not get the tomato and herbed ricotta plate from the night before out of my head and had to have a repeat) and watched a really good movie, The Lifeguard with Jake. Then yesterday, Colleen and I went to Crane’s AGAIN, and stayed until it closed at 8 o’clock, which meant that we stayed right on that beach during a storm. I wish someone could have taken our picture, because we took shelter under our beach chairs and it was pretty funny. After it rained, there was the most amazing rainbow, and then the black sky became totally sun-filled again with big, gorgeous, puffy clouds of all denominations. We ended the day with dinner at Woodman’s. I came home and watched the two hour season finale of The Killing.

A+ summer weekend!

Major gratitude. I am a girl of the beach. It is my church, and I am its disciple. Praise the sea. You saved me again.