I have an unhealthy relationship with salt. A sprinkle here, a sprinkle there, and I’m a happy eater. Even more than that, give me my lover, potato chips, deep fried and covered in just the right amount of salt and I’m feeling me some nirvana (I don’t eat them much, but I would like to eat them at every meal, every day, until the end of time).
You need salt for a healthy diet, but not nearly as much as I eat, or would like to eat. The daily salt requirement is 2,000 miligrams per day. I have no idea what that looks like, but I’m betting I’m over the limit by like a bajillion grains. And I’m not an unhealthy eater, really. I eat tons of vegetables (which I like to eat with salt) and lots of fruits, and I try to stay away from processed foods (which have insane amounts of salt) and stick with lean cuts of meat and chicken, but when I cook whatever it is I’m cooking, salt is one of the starring ingredients. Dancing on my food like the Rockettes. You would think my blood pressure would be somewhere near Pluto with the amount of salt I eat, but it’s not, it’s actually low. Still I would like to eat less of it, but can’t really imagine a life without the stuff.
You’d think I might be able to appeal to my vain self to reduce my salty intake. But even though the shaker gives me puffy eyes, and a bloaty tummy, I still continue to reach for the glass S. You should see me after a night at the movies, chomping down on movie popcorn, a vice and huge indulgence. I look a lot like a blowfish, which of course, is one of my best looks. And don’t even start me on Chinese food, or barbecue–I get that Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters look. Again, it’s me at my cutest.
People say, “Use herbs.” And I do, but guess what–herbs are not salty. They do not provide the satisfaction to my salt loving self that leaves me feeling satisfied. Herbs are lovely. They are just not salty.
I have had all sorts of salt. I love thick and crunchy Kosher salt. I adore lemon pepper salt. I have had black salt from Hawaii and pink salt, and rosemary salt. And oddly, I used to collect salt and pepper shakers. I had like 40 sets and was always trolling for more. I outgrew that little hobby, but not the salt. It seems obvious to me that if I had a salt lick in my backyard, I would probably be out there like an animal licking it everyday. And so it is, with shaker in hand, that I salute salt today. I love that stuff. I wish I didn’t love it quite so much, but there it is.