best and worst dressed-a-tude-a-thon day 984

After an election where the man who campaigned (and eventually, sadly won) made fun of everybody in the country who wasn’t him, it feels cruel to be mean to anybody.

But, as Hollywood says, the show must go on. You know, for the good of the people (so you will have something to giggle about. Because Jesus, GOD, do we need that right now).

And may I say before I begin, all hail to Dame Streep, taking her speech time to unify us more than that excuse for man who should be doing that, has even tried to do. Bravo. That was no acting, that was the best of humanity up there.

And so we bash the beauties who didn’t appear to look in the mirror before leaving home, the girls who spent plenty on stylists who were vision impaired. Here you go–the worst.

Nicole you’re Kidding me, man.

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What’s with the trend to have some sort of weird sleeve mid-way down your arm, because that makes (no) sense. I kept imagining how pretty this dress could have been if there was no saloon house poofs and it had remained just a tank gown with a heavenly bottom. In the disaster category, this equals that time she married Tom Cruise.

Sarah Jessica Parker looks sad here. She must have seen a mirror.

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Again with the sleeves. There is too much dress, too much eye make-up, too much UGLY. A Princess Leia nod with the hair, maybe? This is a train wreck from head to toe. Carrie is rolling in her fictional character grave.

Anna Chlumsky. Toga has got togo.

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I have two issues with this dress, aside from its Kermit-the-frog-appearing-in-Animal House comparison. 1. She could have four more boobs in the top of it and the dress still wouldn’t fit. 2. What is that black strap doing on the right shoulder? What does that have to do with anything (thank the fashion Gods she at least had a black shoe on for a little bit of a tie-in).  Did she, right before leaving the house, just give in and say, “fuck it, I’m wearing my bra?”

Felicity Jones. The Theory of Everything wrong with this dress.

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Pepto Bismol pink belongs in the bottle of Pepto Bismol and nowhere else. Ever. EVER. If you are going to wear Pepto Bismol pink, do not mix it with black. If you are over five, do not wear a bow at your waist. I must move on, before I vomit.

Carrie Underwood. Everything’s coming up roses, and way too many of them.

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The top of this dress was entirely too overwhelming for Carrie’s petite bod. Which is not to even mention the major dowdiness factor here. Proving once again that money just cannot buy taste.

Winona Ryder. Macy’s prom department is missing a dress.

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This look just says “I give up” and while I mostly always love a little black dress, this one hangs on her like a heavy blackout drape. And the back had a giant bow. I give it a giant no.

Jessica Biel. IS she wearing suspenders?

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I love a small boob, so it’s not that that’s bothering me here. It’s that where her boobs should be, they are not. The whole top is screaming for more fabric.

Priyanka Chopra and her golden globes.

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This girl is beautiful, but this dress is too tight, and the highlighting of her nipples, in case you didn’t know where they were, is just distracting.

Jessica Chastain. Could that hair be any more severe?

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I hate this dress, but it’s her hair that really gives her that worst dressed look. It’s GLUED to her head, and the side part is too much to the side. As for the dress, the “It’s a boy” color is hideous, and the bizarre fit is just off.

I thought Tracee Ellis Ross was a greek column, but then she moved.

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All I can say is that I hope the building she borrowed this dress from did not fall over.(I did love her blinged out fingers, though).

Hank, I mean Michelle Williams.

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Without that shoelace around her neck, this look would be fine (still wouldn’t be crazy about it, but not the worst). That black thing makes me think she might be in Westworld, partying it up with Thandie Newton.

And those style stars who killed the carpet.

Lily Collins and the fairy tale ending.

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This dress is just so pretty. And the hair and makeup is perfection. She looks like a disney princess. The kind who gets the guy, and the audience falls in love with.

Issa Rae of light.

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Fresh and fierce. This is a gorgeous look from the top of her head to the bottom of her little train. Insecure, I doubt it.

Brie Larson. Red hot.

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The fit is absolutely perfect.The styling is right on. This is what you call flawless.

Viola Davis. How to get away with being so perfectly dressed.

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Not a fan of the color yellow. Probably would never wear it. But look at her GLOW. This is a perfect fit, some fab styling (LOVED THOSE EARRINGS), and just a slam, dunk, done.

Jackie Kennedy, I mean Natalie Portman.

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Momma has class. It could have fit a little better in the boob area, and the bottom could have been pressed a bit more, but this look really conjured up one of the best dressed first ladies EVER.

Naomie Harris in the Moonlight

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There is not one thing I don’t love about this look. Minimal styling, maximum GORG.

Drew Barrymore, more, more just like this.

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This is so free-spirited, Boho chic Drew. She hasn’t looked this good since she phoned home in E.T.

What did you love, what did you hate? Do tell.

2 thoughts on “best and worst dressed-a-tude-a-thon day 984

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