It was the best of clothes, it was the worst of clothes.

Actually, nobody is even talking about the clothes, they’re talking about the cray, cray Hollywood ending of the Oscars, when Warren Beatty, puzzled by the writing on the winner of his Best Picture ballot,  handed it to Faye Dunaway for a consult, who, thinking Beatty was trying to get laughs, took a look at the card and read out “La La Land.” The whole cast came to the stage, thrilled and celebratory. The speeches began, but approximately 90 seconds later, technical people from backstage, rushed the proceedings and expressions change, as one of the cast members announced that it was really Moonlight that had won! He kept saying, “This is not a joke. This is real.” And really, who could believe it? Was Beatty that old, that he could have confused the words La La Land with the words Moonlight?

The Moonlight cast walked tentatively up on stage, as the La La Land cast crawled back to their seats and Warren Beatty explained that the ballot has said “Emma Stone, La La Land,” which is why he had been slow to read the winner, and that he had not been trying to be funny, and which was why he had handed it to Dunaway in the first place, who didn’t see Stone’s name, wasn’t confused, and cavalierly called out the wrong movie as a best picture in an Academy Award’s first. Apparently,  the wrong envelope had been given to Bonnie and Clyde, but it’s clear they’d already been scarred by this caper.

Dragging, at almost 11:30, and down three people who’d left for home, the three of my co-watchers and I were as flabbergasted as the rest of Hollywood. It was like the moment in Chinatown, with Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway where Dunaway says, “She’s my sister, she’s my daughter, she’s my sister, my daughter. SHE’S MY SISTER AND MY DAUGHTER” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnrdetFAo1o).

Someone royally fucked up last night. But I have digressed enough, let’s get to the fabulous and the flops.

The worst, and there were some doozies, alright.

Dakota Johnson, Gucci, Gucci Ewwwwwwwww.

This was some historically significant dress, but may I just say that I thought it looked like she was in a casket being waked? Clearly beautiful fabric, but there isn’t a grade low enough for this get-up. That flat-to-her-head one color hair, the I’m-so-pretty-I-don’t need-make-up face, she looked embalmed. Although even the embalmed generally look more alive than this. Ugh–fifty shades of failure.

Janelle Monae had a hidden figure.

This girl is just beautiful, but this was a Nutcracker, Mother Ginger moment. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FWgmSJzp8M). And that’s all I’m going to say about that. Except for one more word, “why?”

Scarlett Johannson. Was it Lost in Translation?

I think ultimately, this dress was just too big in the boob area. I know Scarlett has some major girls there, but there was too much dress to accent her decolletage and it just ruined the whole look. Plus, pretty as she is, I’m just not into that hair. Plus, plus, I don’t like a belt, trendy as it is, on a formal gown.

Charlize Theron. Did nobody go to the tailor for this show?

So, maybe it’s a trend–this having too much fabric to cover your boobage, but here’s the thing–it’s not flattering. It just looks like you didn’t have enough time to have your dress properly fit. I also found her hair underwhelming. That tuft on the top–flop.

Jessica Biel, you are not Oscar.

Maybe she was trying to mimic the tiny statuette, but this look was a no-go for me. Aside from the distressed gold lame (and yes, I meant to leave the accent mark out–because it was LAME) fabric, which was all sorts of wrong, I hated this Tiffany spiked diamond bib necklace with this dress. It looked a little like a hula skirt. I don’t know, this just didn’t do it for me, plus she looked like she couldn’t move too well during her husband’s fabulous opening number.

Chrissy Tiegan, not legend.

This dress was entirely too tight. She even said so, on the carpet. She was bulging out of it. It might have been ok, if it fit, but not even really.

Felicity Jones. This didn’t fit, either.

Aside from looking like she was going to a prom, this dress was too big. Were all the tailors in Hollywood on strike this year, or WHAT?

Naomie Harris. It’s short, it’s long, it’s La La Land, it’s Moonlight.

She’s one bee-u-tiful girl, and I love this dress, but it was meant to be long, all the way around. Beautiful hair, killer shoes, but damn it, if only they hadn’t cut the front, she’d be on the other list.

And the girls who did it up right.

Kirsten Dunst, unlike Janelle Monae, was not a Hidden Figure.

Much as I like color on other people, if  I was going to the Oscars, there’s no doubt, I would go with the most tried and true color, slenderizing, always sophisticated, and a bonafide hit–basic black. I just LOVED this dress. She looks fabulously comfortable, and who doesn’t just want to marry a pocket? The fit was sheer perfection, her hair was tousled exactly right. The shoes were GORG and that necklace was just the accent. This look was 2400 on the SAT of fashion.

Viola Davis was red hot.

Oh. My. God. Drop DEAD gorgeosity from hair to toe. This dress was bold, but easy at the same time. She looked confident and like the winner she is. She so deserved her Oscar, but she deserves another one for this look. And I can’t say enough about her hair–it was the perfect complement to this killer dress. How to get away with FABULOUS.

Nicole Kidman. Finally, she’s BAAAAAAAACK.

After wearing a number of bizarre and totally UGLY dresses during this award season, Nicole was back on track with this sparkly column dress of mandalas. I wish it had been a slightly darker shade, but slam, dunk, done and done. Namaste, Nicole.

Octavia Spencer. True silvery Blue.

I thought this dress was perfection. The whole look, in fact. Octavia is not a size 2, but I’ve always wondered, why can’t you still wear a beautiful gown if you’re not the same weight as a Barbie doll? This answered my question. She looked stunning.

Emma Stone sparkle.

I am so influenced by hair. Weird, right? I thought this look was a hit mostly because I liked her hair. I mean, it’s a beautiful dress, but she is so pale and the dress is so pale, but the hair, totally becoming on her face, and a color that picks up the darker parts of the dress sold me.

Sonny Pawar is big on style.

That face. This kid is off the charts in the category of adorableness. And the shoes. Well, the shoes were the whole deal. Roar.

It’s amazing how ungrateful I’ve become.

There, I said it.

I used to be able to focus on something everyday that made my internal organs sing, but everything seems different now. And yes, say it with me, because you know it’s coming–It’s because of Trump.

Oh, I know I shouldn’t take it so personally, or be so upset, but when the fabric of all you’ve ever known and by the way, taken for granted, is in peril, well you give more than a few fucks.

BASIC. HUMAN. DECENCY. DIGNITY. TRUTH. JUSTICE. HEALTHCARE……

These people, lead by the head Disgustigan, is making these attributes history.

How do you stand by and move beyond?

No, really, I’m asking. I want to know how this president has affected your life and how you are getting up everyday and feeling hopeful. Enlighten me (this is not meant as snarky–I honestly want to know). Are you speaking in incomplete sentences? Using “great,” “hugely,” “classy,” and “terrific” all the time? Or are you up in the middle of the night with the scared emoji eyes? Let me know. Thanks!

How long’s it been since a Small Bites Friday? And now, some little things to be grateful for.

Yesterday was 64. It is February 24 in New England. Today is headed for the same unseasonably warm temps. I know this can’t mean anything good, but GOD, I love it.

Major Red Carpet Fashion Alert! Sunday is the Academy Awards. Monday morning review, right here. Yippee!

“And you get a college education, and you get a college education, and YOU GET A COLLEGE EDUCATION.” Taking a page from Oprah, Ellen Degeneres gets an A+ for this move.

Same sex marriage has helped to reduce teen suicide. (Will taking away Trans bathroom use increase it? I hope not).

Booya for Melinda Gates and her commitment to contraception. 

When we are there for each other, we are at our best. Muslims help Jews.

98 year old yoga teacher? Namaste.

The Department of “How ya like me now?” 

He won anyway

Hey, I’m loving the way Mayor Marty Walsh is standing up to this administration. Yup, living in a bubble is good.

Best app–Five Calls. Everything you need to know to call your state reps about the things you care about that are being threatened.

If there were a twelve step program to shun yourself of the dark ugliness that is this presidency, I would go to meetings on the hour.

This man will never represent me. I will never support him or his demeaning and bigoted ideas. I won’t ever believe in his dismantling of democracy, or his 10 word vocabulary, or his fucking Twitter obsession.

Yesterday I brought my daughter to the Ear, Nose and Throat specialist who is in a nearby building that has been there since before she was born, and is currently in the center of a major construction site. As we sat in the waiting room, the building began to shake. I dismissed it as some particularly close digging, but as we sat there and it continued, I asked the receptionists about it and they told me that it goes on like that all day long. They said they have the feelings of movement when they’re home, like a form of PTSD. The ground beneath us was literally moving, and it gave me the feeling that the world was shifting below me, that all that had been sturdy and logical was no more.

Which is, I realize, how I feel since this president was elected. There is a seismic shift in the house of white that I cannot swallow, I cannot believe and I cannot tolerate. I constantly feel like I am in a war zone, that there is an instability of all I’ve ever known. Make no mistake about it, this is not Republican. Trump rules a new party called the Disgusticgans.

Anyway, I know this is not my malady alone. I share this sick feeling with millions. They are the world citizens that give me hope. Just yesterday, I was buoyed by the Muslims who are helping to repair the Jewish cemeteries that are being desecrated. They give me hope. They are like medicine for this ache I have deep in my heart.

Last night, my friend, who is equally as disturbed by our current state of affairs, told me to watch this: The Kindness Diaries on Netflix. I did, and I felt a little better.

For like a full 30 minutes.

Gratitude for those resisters and those people in the world that are trying to fight for what is just and right and human. They are the RX for what ails me.

I have had a relationship with a trainer (turned friend/family) for the past nine years. Having a seriously troubled back since post-college, she has helped me keep my body working. She’s gifted and she knows my body like it was hers.

A few days ago, we were talking before our Skype session (she moved to Cali) and I told her how I was waking up in the night, grabbing my phone to make sure we were still here, and couldn’t seem to drag myself away from the news. She and I are similarly tempered, and she said she’d put herself on a limited news diet, and that it had helped. She could feel my frantic, crazy vibe from 3,000 miles away.

So, she made me do a grounding exercise for like 50 minutes, and all I could think of was how I wasn’t exercising, and that my abs needed attention! I wanted to scream, “I get it, I get it, let’s do a plank,” but I kept grounding and listening and trusting. She was talking me through the areas in my body that were my stability, power and sense of self. Blah, blah, blah. My mind was still working on how soon I could get back to the news. But I remained plugged into her instruction, although I was feeling like I wanted to move on.

The hour was up and she said, “All you have to do is get yourself grounded when you think you have to see the news every two minutes. Reach for your stability and power,”she said.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!

That afternoon, interestingly, I didn’t feel the need to douse myself in news. That night I felt more energized. Yesterday morning, I woke up PERKY! And I only ingested the news a few times.

It was like a 12-step program in one afternoon! SO DAMN MUCH GRATITUDE for being lucky enough to have someone in my life who knows me better than I sometimes know myself. It will be tricky to stay sober, but I realize that if I continue to go down the rabbit hole, I won’t be able to work on the  things that need my attention. I need the energy to fight on. We all do. So ground and power up however you need to. There’s work to do.