gratitude-a-thon day 960: too soon to laugh?

It’s been a week since the apocalypse, since what felt like a bait and switch the size of a small Italian village occurred, since the R.E.M. song It’s the End of the World got stuck in a loop in my head (in a loop in my head, my head, my head).

And we’re still all here. So, give yourself a round of applause for not moving to Canada, or jumping off the top of Trump Tower.

But a lot of us are still struggling, fearful and continuing to wonder how this could have happened. I’ll leave smarter people to dismantle that one. But I’d like to offer some tips that can help you take care of yourself. Because that’s the best thing we can all do right now.

1. Do not indulge in every comfort food you’ve ever loved to make yourself feel better. You’re midsection will look like the midwest. No reason not to look your best even though you’re living under a white nationalist, anti-semitic, misogynistic, anti-LGBTQ, anti-Muslim, Mexican, Black regime who thinks climate change is a hoax, right?

2. Meditation is a life saver. My friend and trainer Colleen Quinn, who couldn’t be smarter or more insightful,  reminded me of the Loving Kindness Meditation, which is really one of my most favorites:

May I be filled with lovingkindness.
May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May I be well in body and mind.
May I be at ease and happy. May someone tell me this election was all a fucking dream and I will wake up really soon.(I don’t think this is part of the original. I might have put it in myself.)

3. Don’t put off working out because of the state of the country. You need the endorphins. We all do. If you have any extras, send them to me STAT.

4. Do take warm baths (I love a lavender situation), light candles at night (actually I lit one at 4:27 today when it was pitch black out — but I digress). Cuddle up with your partner, your dog, or your best blanket and watch guilty pleasure tv. TURN OFF THE FUCKING NEWS. You really need to limit that shit.

5. This is the time to be around people who think like you. There’s plenty of time to engage with Trump supporters and try and understand them later, but right now, surround yourself with people who get your desire to bathe in macaroni and cheese and move to the moon.

6. Cut down on screen time. People like me who can’t get off this topic will just make you feel worse.

7. Put a safety pin on your coat to show people you’re a safe person. If the day gets away from you, take it off and stab yourself in the eye with it, it will make the idea of Trump in the White House feel less painful.(Do not try this at home, or at all).

8. Here is an excellent site that can help you know what to do now:

9. Figure out what charities could most use your donations. Then use that money for jewelry. This will TOTALLY MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER (oh, maybe that’s just me).

10. Laugh. Too soon? Nope. It’s time. It’s really time.

gratitude-a-thon day 959: solidarity


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I really want to stop writing about the election.

But it’s all I can think about. It’s completely consumed me.

Ok, here we go. My attempt to claim new territory.

It sort of has to do with the election, but it’s a step in the right direction.

I am terribly grateful for all the people I have talked to, on Facebook and in real life, who share my terror and confusion over the election (there’s that word again). There is a feeling of solidarity that’s emerged among people who I know and don’t know, concerning our uncertain futures. We are talking about how to take care of ourselves during such emotional instability and upheaval, how to proceed intelligently, how to organize ourselves into action, so that we may be the change. It’s empowering to have others who feel like I feel showing themselves. This is a new land, and we pioneers have got to back  one another. This part is a good thing. This is the only good thing I can see so far.

But I’ll take it.


gratitude-a-thon day 958: when you realize that it’s you who has to stand up

I was just texting with a friend. She’s not quite 30, and I am doing some writing for her website. Anyway, she said she’s been experiencing a lot of “Why the fuck do anything?” in the past week (a girl after my own heart). And of course, so have I. She went on to say “What’s the point?” And oddly, although I’m right there with her on that bus, I didn’t concur, I suddenly found myself texting that this was the exact time we had to stand up for our ideals. I’m telling you, I am waking up with a pit of despair in my stomach, dragging myself around like Linus drags his blanket, but i realized that this is really what I feel — that this is the time that we have to hold onto our ideals like Riley holds onto his bones when company comes (like they really want his bones).

This is the time to stand up, not sit down. It’s never been more vital to fight against racism and misogyny and xenophobia and anti-semitism,. It’s never been more important to support the LGBTQ community and the climate change movement. It’s NEVER BEEN MORE IMPORTANT to be kind to those who are fearful that they will be deported or discriminated against. I will not allow an amazing 30 year old to feel like she should get under the covers. I will not, I will FUCKING NOT let this election make me forget who I AM or what I STAND FOR.

You can’t either. We owe it to my friend. We owe to our kids.  We owe it to each other.

Last night John Oliver listed a number of organizations he says need help now more than ever. Gratitude to that John Oliver–I love when someone does my work for me, so I’ll pass them along and do your work for you.

Planned Parenthood,

The Center for Reproductive Rights,

The National Resources Defense Council,

The International Refugee Assistance Project,

the NAACP Legal Defense Fund

The Trevor Project for LGBTQ youth

The Mexican-American Legal Defense and Educational Fund.

gratitude-a-thon day 957: you can’t just “get over” hate


It’s funny how Trump supporters are all, “Get over it, he won, move on, already.”

This Democratic loss has nothing to do with wanting our candidate to win in a middle- school-student-council way.

This loss has to do with all the losses that Donald Trump promised if he was elected.


His campaign, unlike any other in history, was filled with hate, rallies of people who he encouraged to be less tolerant of our differences, rather than more tolerant. The most basic thing I tried to teach my kids while they were growing up was to accept the differences among us–in color, gender, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, physical and mental ability. Trump’s vitriolic rants made fun of those with disabilities, of women, Muslims, immigrants, in fact, of every group, except lily white men.

I will never feel good about any person who is celebrated by the KKK.

This election has been a lot about loss. THE LOSS OF HUMAN DECENCY. So, to ask a Hillary supporter to just get over it already— that’s going to take a lot longer than a few days. See, we believe in the deepest parts of our soul that love and tolerance should always win. And this time they didn’t.

This isn’t from an election rally. It’s from after Trump won.

gratitude-a-thon day 956: we are sad, but we are strong, and we are not alone


People much smarter than I am have written about this election and I post that writing here because they express much of what I feel, and may make both sides understand one another better. Aron Sorkin wrote his daughter a letter, David Remick wrote a brilliant article in the New Yorker called An American Tragedy. John Palovitz wrote a lovely blog post called Here’s why we grieve today.and  Lindy West wrote this article in The New York Times today, called What Happened on Election Day. Lastly, a word form Michael Moore

Here’s what I will say right now. Hillary’s supporters are in pain. We hurt because we believe she would have been a really good president, but also because her opponent expressed so many terrifying things during his campaign, things that go against our beliefs of fairness and democracy, of human decency. He doesn’t like women, he doesn’t like Muslims, he doesn’t like immigrants, he doesn’t like truth. This is the tip of the iceberg. Understand, we believe someone totally unfit and unequipped has been elected president.

Hillary Clinton won the popular vote, which makes me feel better because it makes me feel less alone.  There are thousands and thousands of people who feel like I feel, who are terrified, and trying to understand how hate trumped love. We will, we will figure this out, and we will accept this new president and try and maintain our beliefs, while we work on causes that we feel strongly about. We may never believe what he believes, but we will support our democracy. We may never be happy about his occupation of the oval office, or be able to use “president” in front of his name, but we will be respectful. We just need a moment to lick our wounds, to get a better sense of what is going to happen here, and to know that nobody can take away those people we love, or ideas we hold to be truth. We are strong, and we are scared, but we are not alone.

the mourning after


I went to bed at 11:30 because it was obvious that hell was freezing over.

The worst has happened. The “secret” Trump voter was a real thing. And while I am numb and terrified, I am not stupid–there is an entire country of people who have felt underrepresented, and they went to the polls and cast their vote for someone who spoke to them (in the same 25 words, and clipped sentences). He made promises, and insulted women, and minorities, and intelligence, and fairness and democracy, and he won the presidency.

I want to tell you that I understand, but I don’t. I want to tell you that things will be ok, and that there is nothing to worry about. I want to get up today with a sense of optimism and excitement. But I am terrified of a man who does not represent ANY of my ideals, who hates me because I’m a female; a man who is a racist and a narcissist, who is as impulsive as a three year old, and who thinks climate change is a joke. These are facts, not my editorialization.

How can this end well?

Gratitude to all of those people who worked to elect Hillary. I thank you for trying to keep the country sane. And now I’m going to pray, and try and accept what feels totally and utterly unacceptable.


gratitude-a-thon day 955:All you need to do today is vote (for Hillary)

All I want you to do today is vote (for Hillary). I don’t care who you vote for (but voting for Hillary would prevent the end of the world, you know, if you care about that sort of thing), as long as you vote. It’s your civic duty to vote (for the only qualified candidate, Hillary), it’s your right  (to give HRC your vote).

If you do nothing all day, but go to the polls and fill in the dots on your ballot (especially the Hillary for president dot), you will have done something to literally change the fate of our country and our world. Is that asking too much (of you to vote for the most qualified candidate in the history of presidential elections, HILLARY).

All kidding aside, wherever you are, please vote (unless you’re voting for Trump)!

Godspeed, people. Let’s hope this thing comes out right.