I could never shut up as a kid in school. I talked incessantly, being told to be quiet, several times a day, only to start talking again moments after being reprimanded. I was smart, but social, my teachers would say. And I don’t think I ever got a report card that did not state in loopy penmanship, “talks too much,” and “does not work up to her potential.” In kindergarten I had to sit in the corner by myself one day because I was talking. I came home sobbing, and told my older sister about my misery, who replied, “Welcome to the Friedman motormouths.” As young as I was, I somehow knew that I was following in a less than desirable family tradition. When I had my son, it didn’t take long for the letters A.D.D. to be bantered around. (SQUIRREL!) He was a tornado of activity from his earliest moments. And while he was clearly super bright and engaging, his activity level and curiosity dogged us from his earliest school experiences. I won’t go into the whole, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY LONG story in detail, but after having him tested in 2nd grade, we found he did indeed have A.D.D., and the school thought he should be put on medication, but we resisted, feeling adamantly opposed to the idea of medicating a 7 year old. By third grade, with the help of an exceptional therapist, who was acting as a sort of parent coach to us, supporting us to make the right decisions with Jake, and a highly experienced, and extraordinary 3rd grade teacher, it became obvious that it was time to seriously consider medication. My husband took a month off from work, and the two of us immersed ourselves in making this decision. We read everything we could, and even visited the renowned Edward Hallowell, the author of “Driven to Distraction.” It wasn’t easy, but drowning in research and exhausted from thinking, we decided to try it. And within three weeks, his teacher called him an “ideal student.” Jake was feeling good about himself, because, what his medication did for him is the same thing as glasses do for a person with nearsightedness. As my husband and I learned about A.D.D., we realized that we both had it, but had learned strategies to cope with it. There was no such moniker as A.D.D. when we were kids, so therefore there was no help for it (the truth is there was no drug for it, so there was no name for it). My daughter, a chatter box like her mom, wasn’t diagnosed until fifth grade, but of course, when the symptoms appeared, we knew exactly who to see, and how to test. But don’t cry for us, Argentina! Yes, we are the A.D.D. family, but I’ve got to tell you, I’ve found that A.D.D. people are some of the most creative and interesting I have met. Those three letters may make it more difficult to focus, but they also seem to make it more possible to take in lots of information, and tap into creativity in fascinating and off-beat ways. And more than not, A.D.D. people are often quite social and have an insatiable curiosity for life. We think of it as a positive in our family. And we treat it like that. I’m not saying, it doesn’t require more work to live with A.D.D, but I am saying I’m grateful for it. Yup, I actually am. It’s kind of a cool sort of malady, once you get the hang of it. It’s thought that Einstein, Mozart, da Vinci, Churchill, Walt Disney, Alexander Graham Bell, and John Lennon, among other creative and high-achieving people had it, too. And while I may not contribute anything nearly as monumental, or significant as those examples, I’m pretty darn happy to be in their company.
*the gratitude-a-thon 
I spent all of first grade sitting in the library corner because I talked to my neighbors and they couldn’t do their work…..and after I read all the books, they called my parents in…..
why doesn’t this surprise me? xo
Not working up to her potential. That sentence followed me as well – all through school! Not because of A.D.D. but because I was BORED and unreachable (and had/have fear of math) – the teaching methods were so different back then – and I was/am a kid who needs to understand the ‘story’ of how things work and happen. That’s when things stick. Rote memorization never worked for me. As always – your stories strike a chord…
151 Positive Characteristics of People with Attention Deficit Disorder.
Ability to find alternate paths to overcome obstacles
Able to take on large situations
Adaptive/collaborative
Adventurous, courageous, lives outside of boundaries
Always finding alternate routes to any given location.
Always willing to help others
Ambitious – you want to be everything when “you grow up”
Artistic
Attractive personality – magnetic due to high energy
Being able to see the big picture
Being able to see the patterns in the chaos.
Being intuitive towards others’ difficulties
Broad focus – can see more, notice things more
Can create order from chaos
Can do many projects at once
Can make people feel they are heard
Can see the big picture
Can talk about several things at one time
Can think on my feet
Career variety
Centre of attention
Comfortable talking in front of groups
Comfortable with change and chaos
Compassion for others and for themselves
Conceptualizes well
Confidence
Constantly evolving
Courageous
Creates connections easily
Creative
Creative writing
Creative – musical, artistic, “dramatic”
Good in a crisis
Good at customer relations
Dedicated
Detail-oriented
Determined to gain more control
Eager to make friends
Eager to try new things
Empathetic, sensitive
Energetic
Entrepreneurial
Excellent organizers using journals and reminders (notes etc.)
Flexible – changes as the situation requires
Fun guy to be around
Goal-oriented
Good at conceptualizing
Good at motivating self and others
Good at multitasking
Good at problem solving
Good at public speaking
Good at understanding others/mind reading – empathetic
Good conversationalist
Good delegator and good at organizing others
Good in emergency situations
Good listener
Good looking and aware of it
Good people skills
Good self esteem, energetic
Great brain-stormer
Great multitasker
Great self-company
Great sense of humour
Great storyteller
Great with kids (central figure around kids)
Hands-on workers
Hard worker
Has friendly relations with their family
Has the gift of gab
Helpful
Helps others who are also in trouble
High energy – go, go, go
Humour, very healthy, quick picking up ideas
Hyper focus !!
Hypersensitive – very empathetic and good at non-verbal communications
Idea generator
Imaginative
Impulsive (in a good way) not afraid to act
Initiators
Intelligent
Intuitive
It’s ok to not finish everything
Learning as much as I can to help children and others with adhd
Less sleep is good (midnight to 6 am)
Like to talk a lot
Likes learning new things
Look at multidimensional sides to a situation
Lots of interests
Loves to cook and be creative
Magnetic
Master idea generator
Mentoring others/helpful
Mentoring people with low self esteem
Modesty
Move on fast – never hold a grudge
Multitasks well
Never bored and rarely boring
Never intimidated to try new things
Non-linear, multi-dimensional/edge of chaos
Not afraid to speak mind
Not contained by boundaries.
On stage and ready
Optimistic
Outgoing
Passionate
Persistent
Philosophical
Holistic thinking
Playful
Pragmatic
Problem solver
Profound
Quick thinking
Quick witted
Relates to people easily
Resistant
Resourceful
Saves money in the short term by forgetting to file tax returns
See and remember details – recount them later
Sees the big picture
Socially adaptive and flexible.
Spontaneous
Stabilizer during difficult situations
Stable
Successful
Takes initiative
Tenacious
Theoretical
Think outside the box
Thinks 2 meters ahead of the world
Thinks big, dreams big
Thorough
Tolerant
Unconventional
Unlimited energy
Unorthodox
Versatile
Very creative, able to generate a lot of ideas
Very hard working to compensate – workaholic
Very intuitive
Very resourceful
Very successful
Visionary
Visual learner
Willing to explore
Willing to take risks
Willingness to help others
Witty
Won’t tolerate boredom
Works well under pressure
Worldly
yes. yes. YES. thanks cindy. xo
Admire your ability to tell this to the world.. As an adult who has ADD I find it hard to admit it to people. Like you I think that it is one of my better traits but I still do not like the looks people give when I admit I have it. As yuo mentioned years ago they didn’t have the diagnosis, when they finally gave it a name they thought that only boys could have it. (I remember reading a book about ADD in my late teens and saying this is me, I have this and I am a girl) When my daughter was very young I noticed that she was the little girl who couldn’t sit and string beads or play tea party. She was the girl who needed to have her body move. I knew that more than likely she would be diagnosed and she was in first grade. Medicating her was very very difficult, I still remember the first time I gave it to her. We tend to keep this part to ourselves as people, actually some friends have reacted so harshly to our choice. It hasn’t always been easy just thankful that we could get her the help she needs so she doesn’t struggle as I did in school.
Just this week I as talking to a colleague who lives in Brookline. He knows my daughter goes to a private school and was asking about it. I asked him why he was thinking of sending his son to private school. He said that Brookline schools have a lot of students with disabilites like ADD and that his son is picking up bad habits from these kids. I was about to explode but didn’t. I immediately told him that on our floor there are at least 4 parents who have ADD children, me included, and that I can say with certainty that it isn’t contagious. I asked further what bad habits his son had picked up from his supposed ADD friends and he said that he was pulling his hair our and now has a bald spot. (I was holding my tongue as I really do like this guy). I told him that ADD children did not pull their hair out. Anyway this is the type of attitude we sometimes encounter.
Thanks for writing about this
i guess i’m fine with telling the world this, because i don’t think it’s a terrible thing. it just is, like being born with bad eyesight. i definitely subscribe to the “you’re only as sick as your secrets” idea. for anybody who wants to judge my husband and i for putting our kids on medication, i say, “put our shoes on, do the amount of research we’ve done, and get back to us.” i honestly believe A.D.D. comes with a huge number of positives. I choose to celebrate them til the cows come home!
Well said as always Toni. Let’s all celebrate! Sounds like an excuse for a party.
I always thought it made me good at multi tasking :-). And I can’t believe what Linda said about that guy. She handled it well.
a.d.d. peeps, unite!