gratitude-a-thon day 626: you want control? pick up your remote

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You know what’s funny. We don’t have any damn idea what’s going to happen tomorrow, and yet, we pretend we do. We plan  in cement. We project years into the future, because we know what’s going to happen, based solely on nothing more than what we want to happen.  And guess what? It’s all fairy dust. Because in a time span that is smaller than infinitesimal, your plans, your road map for life, your strategically though-out and uber well conceived plot can fail faster than a cat can catch a mouse locked in a small closet. I mean this idea that we have any control is funnier than anything that’s ever come out of the mouths of Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Amy Schumer, and Mindy Kaling COMBINED. And that’s a lot of funny. Maybe we’re born seeking control. Maybe it’s all that time spent locked inside the womb with no way out. Maybe we’re all like, “Once I get outta here, I am making my own decisions. I will never eat another one of those fucking multi-vitamin horse pills as long as I live.” But try as we may, we don’t have any control over anything. Consider yourself lucky if you’ve got a remote for your tv, because that’s the closest you’re going to come to controlling anything in this lifetime. And truthfully, it’s a little bit what makes this thing a horse race. If you could really control your world, it might not be so interesting, because while maybe you’re thinking that I’m describing the lack of control we have as solely negative, I also think it can spring up in ways that are wildly positive, life altering, and downright amazing. I met my husband by accident. I tried to plan meeting a great guy for years, but I never met “the one.” Not until fate intervened, plans disappeared, and spontaneity ruled the day.  I didn’t think I’d get to have a second baby, but I got pregnant in two months (after three years of infertility with my first). I have a long list of stuff that has happened because my plans failed, the control I thought I had was on vacation. Who knows? Who know what and why and where and when? We don’t. That’s who. I’m pretty sure learning to enjoy our utter lack of control, is a key step in making ourselves happy. Let go. See what happens. There really isn’t anyone at the wheel. And maybe that’s actually ok.

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